I shouldn't have asked a question I didn't want an answer to.

Now I'm dead scared. Of having to go through hell again if anything. 

I can't afford to lose it. I don't even want to think about losing it. 

I know it's a practical way of thinking but that hurt. 

Time to stop fearing this in silence. Voice your thoughts. Clear the air ( or has it already been cleared? )

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be at the same level.