HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! Half an hour till the new year! Iam feeling high now cos I ate too much sugar!! HAHAHAHA and Shermaine and Michele are coming back tomorrow!!! :D :D :D I miss them!!! HAHAHAHAHA and I have New year gathering tomorrow also!! :D AND I Miss all my buddies Sabrina and Cassandra and Their Mum and Samantha whom I honestly dont know very well and even THAT WEIRDO GUY WHO THINKS HE's SO HOT THAT HE TRIED TO IMITATE THE PRO GUY IN SLIDING ON ICE AND FELL!!! and All my tour guides Xiao Yang and Xiao Shan and Xiao Chen all at the same time!!!! IAM MISSING THE COLD WEATHER THERE COS IAM PERSPIRING LIKE MAD NOW! AHAHAHA AGAIN HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

Dedications..

Thanks to Shermaine who gave me this idea, I shall dedicate this posts to my friends also:)



Shermaine:
I dedicated the poem to you, didnt I? :)
I hope we had a great time this year, and I really hope that I wont be moved to another class next year because Iam not taking A math any longer. :( I dont think so la:)
I'll remember those times we had in AEP, crapping about that 'cold babe' together, lets continue that next year:)
And we must work hard together also, because its O's next year:) Love you also:)

Michele:
Iam so happy for you! 1st time on an airplane must be a pretty overwhelming experience for you isnt it?
We've seen each other through ups and downs this year, but I'll never forget everything you've done for me this year.
Especially your birthday, where we surprised you with that cake, I hope you liked it, though i knew you were upset at the beginning cos we refused to tell you why and the reason we acted secretive. HAHA. Thinking about it now makes me laugh:)
NExt year's O's, lets Jiayou together! :D Love you!

Bao Yi:
Iam so glad I met you this year, 我们很有缘 right? :) Thanks for the cards, I was really moved by them:) Especially because it was after my holiday and I missed everyone so much I cried at the simplest thing, your card really made my day:D I'll always remember the time we went to watch A Christmas Carol together, went cycling together and CIP together. This year would have been hellish if I hadn't known you, after all many of the things you have to endure in our day to day activities are what I do too, so we're very much in the same boat. Thanks for always being there for me dear:) Love you! Lets work hard for our O's next year!

PS: Pet Victory for me please:)


Jolin:
Its so nice knowing you during my job attachment:) Its been a whirlwind of a month, isnt it?
I know it must have been really taxing on you all because my job attachment coincided with your tests, so I kinda became a bit of an additional burden =/ Thanks for being around when I needed you, and for the delicious cakes you baked:)Love you! :D



Hui Loon:
It was so nice having you as my buddy during job attachment:) I know it was tiring for you all because you had to buddy me and yet still set aside time for your tests. pei fu ni:) I've only seen you for a week though, so Iam really glad that MSN helps to keep us in touch :) Thanks for always being around when I needed you during and after my job attachment:) When I think about it now I just gotta thank my lucky stars that I was selected to join your class:) Thanks for all you did! Love you!

Sabrina:
Hey! We've really got yuan right? To think that we can choose China as a place of our holidays, that we chose CTC holidays, that we chose the same tour type, that we chose the same day. Yes, we were destined to meet! :D HAHA. I cant believe our holiday has ended so fast! Lets keep in touch yea?:)
Jia you for O's next year!

And now... to someone who'll never read this.. :(

小 Shan 姐, Shenyang Tour Guide
谢谢您带了我们这一团. 在您带了我们那两天时期, 我们学到了很多沈阳有关的知识. 两天之后, 我们都觉得有您这样的导游
是一件非常有缘分的事. 您做出的贡献使我们中身感动. 在您结束了您的工作而必须离开我们之后, 我们的心里有种心如刀割的感觉. 在您回头说声再见时,见到您的背阴, 我不禁流下眼泪. 希望您能够凭着这股信念,继续努力, 坚持下去,也希望以后再回到沈阳再有您带我们这一团, 再见到您! 有缘再见!

Harbin Winter Fantasy

Oh yea, okay, speaking of the tour... and thanks to Sabrina who reminded me:)
There's this guy from our tour group, okay, I know his name but I really ought not to blog about it here. Honestly, he gives me the creeps sometimes. Okay, I have a few things to say to him : Stop thinking ur so hot and cute man, cos ur not, and if you think your 'attracting' us with your looks you're not..
He gave us those looks you get from those honest-to-do real hot people, but he isnt. Yea, and he thinks its so cool to wear a face mask the opposite way also. -.-
Lets recap!
Day 1:
Arrived in Shanghai with China Eastern Airlines on a internation flight. Waited a little over 2 hours for a domestic flight into Dalian. Met the tour guide, Dickson, who happily brought his girlfriend along on this job( WTH!) and who seemed nonchalent about leading us. Visited the Lushun Musuem and Harbour and Bei Da QiaoVisited this little shop to buy nuts and stuff also. Lunch, where I met Sabrina and Cassandra for the 2nd time( the 1st was in the plane) where Sabrina happily told me her name was the same as mine. xD Returned to King Hall hotel for one night.

Day2:
Stayed in Dalian till lunch, where we met the Shenyang tour guide, Xiao Shan, in the restaurant. Dropped Dickson at the busstop after lunch for him( and his gf) to find his way back.He was kinda lazy also, because he was the only tour guide who didnt have to travel with us out of the city. Xiao Shan then did a quick introduction of herself where we learnt that she was only 21 and was hoping to make friends with us during the 2 days she was with us. As it turned out, she did. Coached to Shenyang for 5 hours, and by the time we reached it was time for dinner. After dinner, Xiao Shan brought us to buy winter boots in preparation for Harbin, which was going to be COLD. Returned to the Grand Century hotel.

Day3:
Morning call at 6.30. I woke up earlier to prepare for some packing. Left our overcoats in the hotel room before that, had to rush back to get them and as a result were slightly late for the meeting time, 7.30. Left for this place where we say the 12 emperors that ruled China, also learnt that Shenyang was the place which held the football olympics in 2008. Coached a short distance to the Shenyang Imperial Palace, where Nurhachi ruled with his brother( i think). The rise of the Qing Dynasty started here also. Lunch, the coached to Guai Po, a strange hill that defies gravity. I rode a bicycle with Sabrina down the hill, then upon arriving at the bottom of the hill, the bicycle travelled up the hill by itself. I wasnt peddaling.

Day4 :
Morning call at 7, Coached for a while, then picked up the Tour Guide from Chang chun, Xiao Chen. Continued coaching to Changchun for another 5 hours with Xiao Shan and Xiao Chen. Arrived in ChangChun at around noon, where we had lunch. Then took photos with Xiao Shan before she left to go back to Shenyang. Went skiing after that, as well as a bicycle on ice. There were also husky rides, but its pure animal cruelty if you make them run about on the ice. They're super skinny. Skiing wasnt bad, except that its easy to fall. Dinner after that, then transfer to hotel.

Day5:
Morning call at 7( i think), coached to Jilin, the coach driver lost his way and arrived in 3 hours when it was supposed to be 2. Visited Korean village there, as well as Spotted deer farm. Lunch, then coached back to Changchun for another 2 hours. visited this chinese medicinal herb shop that sells a kind of frog glan that's supposed to be good for health, for guys they've got to choose the white ones while the girls choose blackish ones. Dinner, where Xiao Chen bought 2 Christmas Cakes for us( so sweet right!) as it was Christmas eve. Then back to hotel. Went out for shopping later.

Day 6:
Xiao Chen left us in the morning. Coached to Harbin for another 3.5 hours, but the driver lost his way again, and it stretched to 5 hours. Reached Harbin 2 hours off schedule met the Harbin Tour guide, Xiao Yang. We had a late late lunch. Drove for 2 hours or so to the Snow sculpture place,by then night had fallen. we were given sometime to look at the sculptures fashioned out of snow. The temperature was -27. Coached then again to 冰海大世界to see the ice sculptures this time. Dinner after, then hotel.

Day 7:
Last actual day. Visited a museum, but it was locked up at that point. Then coached to this small shopping centre, where we bought a few souvenirs for friends. Coached on then to this place where we saw people jumping into the icy cold waters to swim during mid winter. Everyone was commenting that they were crazy, but strong people. Then we visited St. Sophia Church. Moved on to the Ligers( Tiger+Lion) park, where we drove into the park in the bus. The tigers and all were free to roam, so we had to carefully manuoevre the coach around them, but it was quite hard as the tigers were inquisitive and were very interested in peeing on the tyres of the bus, which this tour guide Xiao Yang carefully noted. Coached on to Harbin Polarland, where we watched the Sea Lion performance and the Beluga Whale performance, not to mention all the other aquatic animals and artic animals amongst them.
Last but not least we visited Zhao Lin Park. It had very nice ice sculptures and we exited the park very early as it was too cold to carry on. Problem was, we didnt know where the bus was parked. So we walked round and round the entire square of the Park, hoping to find the bus but to no avail. It was really running late, about half an hour late. Halfway through, I thought I saw the bus moving along the road with all the people inside waving bye. I think i was hallucinating. Then I suddenly remembered that the bus was parked at the opposite end of the road, so we crossed over- and there it was. I think i cried or something out of relief. But I embarassed myself in the process.

Day8:
Last day, we coached to the Zhong Yang Da Jie, a street of never ending shops. We were only given 1/2 an hour, so it wasnt much before we had to meet the tour guide Xiao Yang again.Coached to the place for lunch in about 10 mins, it was a pretty subdued occasion because it was going to be our last lunch together. Coached to the airport after that, took 50 mins. Said bye to the tour guide and headed for the plane.

Recollecting this now, I regret that I didnt ask Xiao Shan for her email so I could send her the photos. Sigh Sigh Sigh.

Shenyang Tour Guide Xiao Shan and I at Guai Po.

At the restaurant where we had our last lunch with Xiao Shan.

From Left: Sabrina, Cassandra, pumpkin, me, Xiao Shan

From Left: Mr Ng, Cassandra, Me, Sabrina

AT Shenyang Imperial Palace, me holding the tour guide flag! :D

Iam back...sadly:(

Iam back from Harbin. And see, see what fate has brought us to? I did meet people. Hi Sabrina, if you're reading this:) Say hi to your sis for me:) And also, its over so freaking quickly. Just last week I was at Dalian with the tour guide Dickson-.- ( okay, I dont like him), then at Shenyang with tour guide Xiao Shan ( I love her omg, she's so niceeee), Chang Chun and Jilin with Xiao Chen, and finally Harbin with Xiao Yang ( She's also pretty nice).

Then its over so quickly.

I miss the bitter cold weather in Harbin, yes, ridiculous as it sounds as the temp was honestly, -31 degrees at its coldest at night, as the temperature guage showed.
I miss the Shenyang tour guide Xiao Shan, though I know that she's just a person doing her job. Its sad when you meet others, befriend them, only to never see them again, isn't it? :(
I miss all my tour group people. There's so many more people in my age group this time round compared to last year, and I miss you alllllllllll :(
Sigh. Too sad to post further.

Just realised that the winter parka had a large rip through it. Admit that I saw the feathers floating out of the ripped portion but didnt think much about it, cos i thought it was from my parrot, until it suddenly occurred to me that my parrot was green in colour and therefore should not be dropping white feathers.

And I ought to sew it up instead of procrastinating- and blogging for that matter.

Watched my last episode of 当我们同在一起 today, because I cant watch the whole of next week due to the holiday:(
Damn sad to see Yao Shi Fu self mutilate due to being knee deep in debts due to gambling :( And the show has a whole lot of misconceptions and misunderstandings, like how Inspector Ou (Choon Khee's sweetheart xD) 'fainted' on top of Jianhong and Xiaobei( He's FREAKING cute) burst in to think that they were up to some hanky panky. Aish. Gonna miss that show :( and I wont be there when Lucy and (what's the other guy's name?) dies. Hees.

HARBIN HERE I COME! :D

Holidays are ending far too quickly. Okay, if school starts, we'll have the school work pouring in, plus O levels :( I cant believe it, its so fast, another national exam, just when I thought that PSLE was over, we have Os. And after that, we have As (if we get to JC that is). Sorry for spoiling the mood.

Having a very bad cold/cough and sneezing like mad. Walked around half the day with a jacket on, thinking that if Singapore's monsoon weather was cold enough what's china going to be like. Sigh.
( Lots of things havent been packed yet, God help)

Yea, whatever

Cried like mad in front of my dad yesteday. Okay, not really, my hair covered part of it. Hated it so much, if its one thing I cant stand is crying in front of your parents, they dont understand you at all. (at least for me)
Had me in knots by telling me that I couldnt bring my phone for the harbin trip, couldnt bring my earpiece so that I could listen to music along the way. I was like, WTF why?! Then he said it'll distract me from my O's next year. What the hell, my O's are next year and this doesnt even contribute to it at all! Cant stand his idiocyncrasies, its annoying.
To speak the truth, I havent been on good terms with him at all in fact. See, annoyance are signs of old age. Its hard to get along with someone whom you dont see eye to eye with, isnt it? Haiz, such sill stupid reasoning, affecting my O's. Listening to music doesnt even harm one bit.

I miss you~ Not having seen you for so long. The days we spent in the bitter wintery cold, aboard that ship , the days we spent frolicking about on the ropes and saws in a thick parka, I miss those. And I miss you even more when I watched the video and saw you, all over again. I wish I could reach out and say hi, but I cant, because you're just an image in the tv. If only I could break past that glass barrier.

So tired, so very tired. Ran like a mouse being chased after by a cat today, on the freaking treadmill. Holiday chinese class are taxing to the max, the standard of the class is so high that Iam drowed in the words and terms that float around me. Wish my chinese was better, still vividly remember the time I tried to explain a file in chinese, end up saying zhi jia( nails) when it was supposed to be wen jian jia. -.- I know it sounds noob but yea, pathetic =/

Harbin next Saturday!!!

PS: People have died there before. On a tour mind you.
Its weird, fate maybe? Who knows who I'll meet? Just thinking about that sends a not unpleasent chill down my spine. Uninviting as it may seem things may just turn out they way we want them to be, be it friends or others of similar nature. Nevertheless, its always worth finding out if the people I meet will remain as friends in time to come. Like Shanghai last year, where I met Shibin and Xue Hui. Then Tasmania, where I met XinYing( we dont keep in touch). How nice if we could keep all our friends, wherever we go, and how sad things can get when we lose them, isn't it?

"You will hear my voice, I claim you as my choice, be still and know I am here....
I am hope for all who are hopeless, I am light for all who long to see.... I will bring to you hope, I love you and you are mine~"

Sometimes I just cant stand you, stand you being at home here with me, it really annoys me to the max. Your voice drones on and on, like a freaking blowfly against the window pane. Everything I do, you break down my freaking neck,you give me snide remarks about everything I try to do during the day. Isnt there anything better that you can do? Leaving me alone perhaps? I hate the way you criticise me, hate the way you talk and your so called 'logic', your lectures, your insensibility.

Went to watch A Christmas Carol with Bao Yi today, met at AMK station, ate hot pepper lunch, then went to watch the movie. Came out and walked a bit, discussed the show, then bought a milo drink each. Milo didnt taste like Milo. Haha. Thanks Bao, for coming with me, though the show was all crashes and bangs and unexpected twists;)

Went orthodontist Dr Loh's office today, waited damn damn long, like 1/2 hour for my turn, cos Joyce (the receptionist) forgot that my appointment was today.
Dr Loh (DL): Julyn!
Me: (gets up)
DL: HII!
Me: HIEEE!!
(wondering why DL's so high, okay, pardon the pun)
DL: Oh ya you havent chosen your colour
Me: (cos i decide alr in advance) Pink and purple like last time.
DL: So girly la you.
Me: SO GIRLY?! (are you kidding?! )
DL: Ya what. Pink not girly mehhh...
Me: Cos I dun want try other colour cannot mehhhhh...
DL: Okay okay la, lie down:)
Me: (lies down)
DL: I heard Bao yi dropped her bridge again..
Me: Huh really meh?
DL: Ya what.
Me: No la!!
DL: Bao yi ah, she got wera retainers or not?
Me: (gulp)ya, iam sure she does!
DL: You sure or not? Her teeth move so much leh!
Me: Iam very sure she does.
(a beat)
Me: Baoyi miss you lehh.
DL: HAHAHA then tell her that biting her bridge to ssee me isnt the right way to go okay?
Me: haha okayy.
Me: (bites DL's finger to change thersubject)
DL: OWW!
Me: Sorryyyyy;(
DL: Your bite ah Julyn! Why you like to bite my finger so much?
Me: ........
DL: Is it because so fat and fleshy right?
Me: That is not I say one ah.
DL: But you think that, I know :(
Me: Dont have such a low opinion of me la pls!:(
DL: Okay la okay la...(hand me mirror)
Me: ??
DL: for you to see yourself. No la, I want to teach you how to put the rubber bands back into your teeth so that you can put them back yourself after you eat. Cannot wear when eating swimming k? cos the spoon cannot get in.
ME: Huh aiyo, then this month I going holiday lehh:(
DL: Okay you dont wear then take off your braces next year la!
Me: Okay okay, I wear.
DL: Wear only at night la, in the hotel, then in the day dont need, see I so nice la!
Me: Scully come out how? ( thinks of having to overturn the pillows for 2 tiny rubber bands ps I wonder if that's considered guest's items eh?)
DL: Wont la, but must change everytime you eat or something.
Me: Orh, okayy..
DL: So see you in 4 weeks time oaky? You'll be able to take out next month alr!
Me(doutbful): ohh oakyy, see you, byeee~
DL: (flying kiss)

Aish. Next month when I remove my braces, and that's IF i remove, I'll miss Dr Loh like crazyyy:(
Speaking of which, if I leave my retainers in the hotel and housekeeping finds it, is it considered valuable? HAHA

Aish. Tell me, what do I do? Iam drawn in by his 'gifts', and i want to break away, break far far away, but how on earth did I manage to get myself into this mess? I dont like to message strange people I meet online. I dont want to meet in them in person, I do not. I dont wanna give them my email, I want our relationship to stay in the game and nothing else! Why cant it be this way?
I shouldnt have said yes, I should not. Iam scared.

~this post sounds as if I just... dont worry k, iam still a virgin. Its something else.

Sofa King Funny

Went for CIP at SGH again today, Bao Yi couldnt come, so it left Shermaine and Jac. Super funny, working with them.
We spent our time campwhoring instead of actually trying to attract customers to our stalls, okay i know its bad, but honestly most people just walk up to us, smile and say, "iam looking" then walk away. No point in that right?Further more we're not entitled to give discounts.
There's this one customer I especially remember.
Customer: EH! THis shawl nice leh
Me: .....ya.
C: How much?
Me: (cant you see the price tag?!) 7.90.
C: So expensive one leh!
Me: My boss may give you a discount.
C: Aiya so lehcheh( idk how to spell), don want la.
C: (holds up shawl) this is what colour? Blue or black?!
Me: Its green.
C: Oh.

:D :D
Dr Loh on Monday! I get to change my braces colour again:D AHhh and in just 2 more months I wont see her no longer D;

Apology

Okay, Iam sorry for yesterday's post. I dont know what happened either, everything just came out like the river of tears yesterday. There's little I can do to keep everything inside, iam sick of what's happening, sick of keeping everything under lock and key. And Iam sorry for yesterday's post.

PS: H1N1 Jab today. Not exactly painful, more of an aching sensation.Next week I have to return for my flu jab D;

Please, I beg you, your faith, I give you.

Had a strangely realistic dream yesterday night. It comprised of all those people whom I miss most, and for some reason or another I woke up, in a state of shock, and in .
Sometimes I wonder why these dreams do happen, and if someone is really trying to tell us something. I mean, all those people I miss, people I only see once in my life, appear as if an apparition.

Another thing is, my cousin is annoyed at me cos I don't go to church. I mean okay okay, Iam sorry, I dont even know why Iam saying sorry, but I am, and I know she's annoyed because of the silly reasons as to why I cannot go to church. And because of this, I cant call myself a Christian, although I believe in God.
But I've given her my reasons, and she tells me that I cannot use it as a crutch. I wonder if He knows how Iam feeling.
I've wondered what its like to be in His presence, where heaven reigns. From young, I've always envisioned Heaven to be a place of fluffy white clouds and candy and people of a kind nature. But I dont dream like that anymore. And Iam locked up in a race of people who nag, nag and nag at me. They tell me to work hard, to do my best, so I can study law like I always wanted to.

I ALREADY KNOW THAT!
I ALREADY KNOW THAT!

Is it enough to let you know how much I already know that? I don know how much more I can tell you. I know my O levels are next year. I know I have to work hard! I know that my future depends on this exam that results lie in the hands of our loving father! I KNOW! PLEASE! Spare me! Holidays are more stressful than school life now really, and the slightest thing can get me frustrated and annoyed. Temper rising, head shaking, nausea quelling, please please please, spare me all that nagging I know.
Sometimes I look up at the clouds above and wish for the times that had past, where Heaven was a cloudy land of candies.
~ Iamcryingmyheartoutnow~

I am damn freaking scared for my H1N1 jab tomorrow. WHY!! Why did the government permit H1N1 jabs for people above the age of 10? OKay. I know iam being illogical, cos its good for me, but iam scared of the pain. Urgh:(

"See-I-Pee"At SGH

Okay. Sunshine after the rain okay? Going to post something less emo-ish.

Went for CIP with Shermaine, Jaqueline today. Bao Yi joined in later after her guitar CCA. CIP Was from 9.30 to 5.30, and we reached there early. Slacked at the nearby coffee shop( literally, selling coffee) where Sher and Jac bought a donut and I, an eggtart.

Met our boss Mr Koh, and he gave me the key for the retail outlet. Left for the shop(okay, retail cart) we were to open after that, and cos I came yesterday I (sort of) knew how to unpack the stuff and the cart and all. If I recall correctly, we sold teddy bears, handphone hangers, shawls, scarfs, shirts, toilet paper holders, tissue packets, shorts, more teddy bears, tic tac toe boxes, dolls, Christmas Cards, photo frames, towels, etc etc. Too many la.

Had to fold all the shirts. Pack up all the stuff and arrange them 'nicely'.

We didnt even finish setting up the shop before the 1st customer popped in to buy a scarf. Then someone else came in to buy this bag which didnt exactly look nice(it was just too gaudy). Was happy that the bag was gone, it was pretty much an eyesore. All the while the lady was like, " eh this bag very nice right?" All the while I was just nodding my head and saying yes but, well, I wasnt exactly thinking the same way.

Funny thing i realised was this, when there are no customers, ur shop is as empty as a jacob's kettle. When 1 comes, ALL comes. So we could be slacking 1 minute, then totally on all fours the next.

Went for lunch, and speaking of lunch, baoyi and I had a horrible experience yesterday. We wereeating fishball noodles then bao suddenyl shrieked. I turned to her and she was horrified, pointing at something inside the bowl. "WHAT"'S THAT IN MY SOUP!!" I looked inside. Guess? A freaking CATERPILLAR. Like WTH. Not an ant, a caterpillar. Its like a hospital for goodness sakes, the environment is supposed to be practically sterilised, and there it was, green caterpillar happily resting on the cooked, souped vegetables. Both of us went off our food. Baoyi nearly puked. And I cant blame her.

I marched up to the stall to complain, so they refunded us with a word of thanks. One of the shop keepers even said, " This one got protein la!" WTH WTH WTH. Protein then you eat la, big hairy hog.

Bought Milo to settle Baoyi's stomach, she said she kept tasting bile in her mouth cos of the vomit. Poor thing.

Back to today. Jac and Shermaine went off to help this lady for a survey, while Baoyi and I continued the shop.

Boss came to close the shop and told him to help out at the retail outlet at another block. Met shermaine along the way, then was dismissed soon after. ;)

Photos:)

What we sold:)

Should we? Can we? Must we?

Friendship problems suck. Why? I dont have an answer but I want to know why. What causes someone to clique with another? What causes friendships to fall apart? Are the nuances of friendship problems that hard to understand?
We take our friends for granted. Yes we do, dont deny it. We take it that they'll always be our friends, no matter how bitchy our behaviour may be, whether we hurt them in any way, they'll still be our friends. Thing is, sometimes the chemistry between friends are such that you dont even realise that you've hurt your friend. Until she starts giving you the cold shoulder, that is.

Then we start to think about whether we have done anything that has hurt them. But its horribly difficult to find out what we did to hurt them. Sometimes, I dont know, its just what I say, but I think that sometimes friends may be, well, sick of being with the same type of friends. Perhaps I've hurt someone by saying so. Iam sorry. But its true.. to some extent, isnt it? I mean, something must have occured between friends that force them apart.

Jealousy.
Lack of Empathy.
Lack of trust.
And... being taken for granted.

Jealousy.
Its been said that when one friend achieves something, the other friend must be happy for the other friend. Sure. Aiming to be like that friend is really nothing special. But does jealousy drive us to hate that friend?

Lack of Empathy.
Should we forgive and forget? Can we?

Lack of trust.
"Eh can lend me?"
"Erm...."
"Pls lar, short while only..."
"Later you lose how?"
"I wont lose one!"
"sure ah".
Isnt this enought to tarnish a friendship?

Locked my blog. You wanna know why? Ask my personally pls:)

I dont know what I did to you, or said to you, but what's happening? The relationship that was so close during those days are fading like mist with sunrise. I keep trying to sew, and resew back that relationship that's appearing to strain at the seams. But you're not reciprocating. When I talk to you on MSN, you reply with 1 word answers. I tell myself that its because you're busy, but sometimes its hard to psychologically change that mindset that its because you're getting tired, you're too tired to keep up a friendship. Isnt that crying sad? I mean, a friendship, born through whatever means, is a friendship and it should be maintained at all costs. Why consider it a friendship then?
Its true that friendship has phases. And its the last phase thats always the one that hurts most, the one that impacts most, the one that creates a deep mark, a laceration, a cut, a wound in the heart. Why? I'd rather not see that last phase. But it happens, it always happens. And when it does, sometimes heartbreaks are inevitable.

I keep posting and posting and no one's reading.
Rule of thumb is,
IF YOU VISIT MY BLOG YOU TAG! I DONT CARE WHO!! JUST TAGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

It'll be nice to see tags from people i dont see very often though, actually I hardly see anyone since its hols.
Iam rotting like a leaf litter at home. Who's free to go out? Bao, get well soon k, we can always go another time when ur feeling better. :)

Love.
What is love? Its like music, meant to be enjoyed. Can it be explained? Should it be explained?
We humans giveth ourselves to love, embrace ourselves in its silken fetters.When we ourselves are struck by that arrow We say that its 'love at first sight'. When we want to speak of the dating period we say ' love makes the world go round'. Indeed the love is a crazed madness, a drastic form of attraction, a pressure building up on the insides of a balloon. it erupts in a burst of fury then subsides. Like a bubble gum- its blown up, bursts, then relaxes, a gentle folding skin, only to become part of the gum again. But no, love is not something that's so easily rebounds itself upon the person that exudes that. It comes, and when it goes, it leaves nothing but a broken heart as a parting present.

Wrote another (yes i know, another!) poem, this time on time, and how quickly it disappears. Tried a different format this time round, comment and tell me if you think its okay yes?

Time.
A simple word.
A broken phrase.
That it stands alone.
Throughout our entire life phase.

Time.
Of tears.
Of extravagant schemes.
Of heartbreaks.
And broken dreams.

Time.
Irreversible.
Like a tide,
Once gone,
Nothing to hide.

Time.
And unknown entity.
An illusion, doesnt exist.
Once its over,
Just like mist.

Time.

(c) Copyrighted.

I moss you!

Dedicated to Jolin and her Big Bang/GD/SHINee, Shermaine and her Ah wei/SHINee/FT Island/Super Junior, Michele and her Hyun Joong, and anyone else who has an idol they love dearly :)

I've seen you from a distance
Away far down the lane,
But the courage I muster to talk to you
Is causing me much pain.

I know you've never noticed me
Or seen me close, at that.
But the bonds I feel that we both share
Is but a simple format.

The way you laugh and smile and sing
Just makes me wanna melt
Its through ur smile that I will feel
That rush of love I felt.

I've been to most of your concerts
And I've been to ur autograph sessions.
But all I want is to see your face,
A true and honest confession.

I hope you'll say you love me
For that'll really make my day,
Please come into my life and say,
I'll still love you anyway.


Hope you all like it:)



Copyrighted.

Dont you ever wonder why we are here? Doesnt it intrigue you to realise that the people we meet are by chance? Imagine if another girl had been asked to join DHHM. I wouldnt have met Hui Loon, Jolin, and all the other people I now have met because fate wanted us to meet. Its strange sometimes.

Mum cooked some weird-ish herbal soup for dinner today. It was horrible okay. Hated it to max. It tasted like a cross between melted iron and bitter ginseng( okay yes there was ginseng in it).I wasnt complaining out loud but I was having a really bitter time trying to swallow it. I think it must have shown on my face or sth cos my Mum told me that the soup was meant to be 'healthy'. Then my dad started giving me this lecture about how good the soup was.
Dad: I can tell you a secret, you wanna know?
Me: ... Ya..
Dad: Do you know that you were conceived after your mum took the herbal soup?
Me: Oh... ( a beat) really?
Dad: Yes. See. So what does that tell you?
Me: Something gives me a feeling that iam not trying to conceive now.
Dad: Not saying thay you should conceive now. Iam saying that it has erm... childbirth propeties.
Me: (uncomfortable silence)

Those who know me, you know that I had siblings. And you also know what happened to them so there's no need for me to explain here and let the whole world know.

I aint nothing much to say. But. I STILL MISS MY BUDDY. I know its already been more than a week but Iam just like that I guess. I cant help it. Especially if the people there are nice I'll always end up with a emotional attachment to them somehow. Lets vote for job attachment one more time! :D ( i know I cant:'( ) What's worse is that you cant get to see them, you only get to for that week and that's it. Its horribly sad.

This is super funny. 1st saw it when Qarissa linked it on facebook :D Enjoy:)

PS: I still miss you. I still miss you all, even if I dont say it.

Okay. I've got to tell you this. Sometime weird happened this morning.
It was roughly 9.30, and I was in my room reading Diary of Anne Frank. My mum walked into the master bedroom, just across the landing, to find out that the room hadn't been mopped. So she turned to the domestic helper, who was cleaning out the windows, why the room hadn't been mopped although it should have under normal circumstances. Here was their convo.(yes I overheard it)
Mum: Siti( that's the domestic helper's name), you never mop the room?
Siti: Yes, ma'am, I havent mop yet.
Mum: Okay, pls get it mopped soon. (prepares to walk out)
Siti: I cannot.
Mum: Why?
Siti: Mop Missing!
Mum: (stares at Siti) what?
Siti: The mop missing!
Mum: BOTH(we had 2 mops) missing?!
Siti: Ya.
Mum: Where did you put it?
Siti: I dunno ma'am, I search here search there cannot find, not downstairs not upstairs.
Mum: Cannot be. House got Hantu( ghost in malay) ah?
Siti: ...... No.
Mum: I dun believe.

The convo cont.. but I cant quite remember portions of it as yet. But anyway, the 2 mops went mysteriously missing( and we cant fingure out why) , but the hunch is that she's using it as an excuse to get hold of more valuable items. The last time I lost my E dic. And sometime before someone hopped over the fence on the ground floor in the middle of the night and stole my shirt and my mum's blouse with a broch on. That at least I can make sense of. But i mean, a mop! Why would anyone in their right mind steal a mop? Aish.

I stand on the front porch. In the twilight, the scene faded. In my mind was memories, such wonderful, childhood memories. Summer, and in Genting Highlands, a little girl danced across the lawn in a pink frock, surrounded by bougainvillea bushes. A couple walks by, and they smile at the sight.
It was winter, and in Beijing, a little girl climbs the Great Wall of China, flanked by her parents on either sides. The steps were high and concrete, and the little girl climbs over them, with difficulty. Winter, and the little girl scampered down the aisles of a shopping centre, mesmerised by the sights and sounds.
It was still winter, and in Finland, the girl, now older, puts on her skiing gear and makes for the slopes. The scenery is blinding white, and her parents puff and pant, in a vain effort to catch the girl as she slips and falls from the slope. The girl looks up, and cries, as through the thick winter wear the snow is stained with the blood from a cut on her knee.
Fall, and in Melbourne, the girl donns a pale pink jacket and attempts to milk a cow. A man stands nearby, watching to make sure the cow did nothing to his girl. The warm milk is in contrast to the chilly weather. It was still fall, and the girl hikes up the hills to an old friend's home. Fall, and the girl learnt that that friend has passed on. Fall, and the girl's tears wetted the pillowcase, as memories of the lost life was too much to bear, as her shoulders shook with renewed sobs.
It was fall the following year, and the man watched his little girl's heart break. Fall, and they crossed the boudaries of culture, where the girl was dressed up in a pink kimono, wondering, watching, apprehensive.
Summer, and the girl, now a teen, realises the first overthrows of love. Summer, and the girl arises, then realises that the blood on the clothes is no longer that of a cut. Summer, and she realises that the gates to her red sea had been opened. The girl, in shock, scurries out of the door.

The saying was ever so true. You could never know how a person was until you climbed into his skin and walked around in it. Just being able to stand there was enough. You could see the way through ways you have never done so before. And it was all through a friend. Yes, friends give. But friends also return. I never repaid the kindness some people did to me, and that makes me sad.
As I drifted in my own thoughts, I realised that my vision was blurred. It was raining, but I never knew if it was due to the rain, or simply my tears.

Cut fringe, cut hair on Thursday. Yea, it sure took me about 3 days to realise the severity of the damage I just caused, and what this means to my already battered up dignity. And hopefully by this time you'll realise I just made a fool out of myself, hence no further elaboration is required:)

(maple news) I wasted alot, ALOT of mesos on MP Pots cos I tried to be overly extravagant and fight bubbling. Not just one, but a whole crowd of them at Kerning Train station. Since I play in a window, I minimised the window while leaving my character precariously perched on top of one of the platforms, where (or so I thought) no bubblings would spawn. Next thing I knew my character had become a ghost and floated gently above a tombstone. Somehow found my way to Sleepywood, then realised I fell amongst a crowd of Curse Eyes. To cut a long story short, my character died again.

This strange, strange pain at the lower right abdomen has been causing me a few sleepless nights by now. Iam praying that its not appendicitis, but its on the left? No right? No... I have to ask my cousin..
Dinner now.

YAY:D I love Hui Loon and Jolin for keeping my blog alive! :D

The red stripes wrapped around the white carriages are impossibly hard to ignore. The platform is glistens with rainwater intertwined with the muddy shoes of the commuters. Above, the sun rays filter feebly through the clouds, only to get caught in the puddles of water on the floor, forming the rainbows that reflect itself upon the concrete ceiling. The swarm of commuters thickens, wetting the floor even further.
I stand apart from them, alone, surrounded with debris and people of aggressive mankind. The world, the people around me revolves, whizzed away and enshrouded by their own objectives. It is uncommon to see such a sight, a lone person, away, apart from others, in a face of loneliness and despair. Yet Iam not alone with my thoughts. I am waiting, and watching, for someone.

Its all familiar to me now, the words of " Going to Johor Bahru? Transfer to the free SMRT link bus service......" at Woodlands Regional Interchange. Yes, its only been 5 days. But that sense of nostalgia, of deja vu vis-a-vis the chill of the rain as it streaks down is all too familiar. That sense of longing, of belonging, has deepened to match the clouds.
Yes, I know. Reluctantly so. That I will not see that place again, that place where I met you.

Just completed my 500 word reflection on my job attachment. And this really brings back a flood of memories- and tears, okay, not really okay. But yea, I'll remember those times we spent together forever, cliche as it sounds.
It'll be a wash of colour amidst other sepia coloured recollections..........:)
PS: I still need my my buddy Hui Loon to help me complete the portion of assessment, I do sometimes wonder how to go about such a thing.

Look.I know what I did was wrong okay?What I did wrong wasnt even a life or death matter. But please, cant you just leave me along to cry in peace?

~ I just wish I had a shoulder to cry on.~

You know, seeing your facebook makes me sad. Because i've known you for so long, yet there's that little communication between the 2 of us. So you really think you're popular? There are others who think you're not. And everyime I try to talk to you, you turn away. And its amazing that iam considered your 'friend' on facebook.
Sometimes, I just get that feeling of sadness, of nostalgia. Yes I miss those times. I miss them, I miss you.

Things I need to complete:
- Omgosh, do CIP hours! Shermaine, when are you going to do? My job's over:( tell me when ur done k.
- List down the consequences of taking A math.
-Pack thy room.
- Finish all my AEP sketches( 46 of them) D;

MY TAIWAN TRIP THIS HOLS ON THE 27TH OF NOV JUST GOT CANCELLED D; This is the 2nd consecutive time this has happened, inclusive of last year where our Taiwan trip got botched up again-for the VERY same reason as it was this year. Seems like we're just not fated to get to Taiwan lol.
Backup was Harbin, I've never been there and apparently the weather is like, what?! -20 to -30 degrees. Iam gonna become a snowman.

I've been with you since I was 6 years old. Back then, you were already of some terror. Now, 9 years later, you're still terror, delete that, you're just hell to me. Like honestly, I've been just putting up with you ever since ur snobbish and cocky behaviour gets on the very last nerve I have left. For some miraculous reasoning even I find hard fathom, I've stuck with you, loyal, through through all your undefined and unprecedented tantrums. Sometimes, I wonder why and how I did so. Faithfully so. So that's why, Iam just waiting till I take my exam in Sep. Then you'll be a thing of the past.

Okay, another poem.

I cant get over it, not at all , cos I STILL MISS MY BUDDY and ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE I MET IN RP, as well as RP ITSELF. Haha, I've gotten over my embarassement so to all of you, SAYONARA AND I LOVE ALL OF YOU! :D



* I think iam high on too much sugar*



Speaking of which, I have another poem for you all,yes I know all my poems are about love or something to that extent, but without that the poems will never have an impact okay...



I want to say so many things,
The things we take for granted.
But many a time the hope that remained
Was ever, always transplanted.



Those dreams I thought were just so true
Were broken just like that,
Without any grace, without a trace
The hope we once both shared.



I know you said you love me,
But that is just a dream.
For I know that your heart has always been
A little more extreme.


I hope to see you again some day
I hope it wont be long
Cos the pain I feel when I miss you
Will forever be as strong :)



Btw, Iam not some poem nut. I just like writing- sometimes these poems dont make no sense to me neither. But it may to soemone out there :)

Gosh. My internet connection is screwed up. Keep disconnecting every minute-Iam serious. Like now. Hang on.

Back. I gotta thank Hui Loon, Jolin, Andre, Shermaine, Bao Yi, Michele and all those who've been keeping my blog alive. No bad huh. Least my blog got followers now :D

Now that job attachment's over, yes, I still miss my buddy!!! D': Kept crying last night cos all of a sudden I was hit by this desire to see my buddy Hui loon and her friend Jolin again. IDK why. I just gotta control myself better. Something better not be wrong with me.

I have to get down to doing my work. Sure I completed a lot during the attachment itself, but there's still THAT much to learn, to revise. And hell, my CIP hours arent even enough also, determined to do some this hols >:)

AEP is some crap also now. The teacher gave us so much do one my sketchbook cant even fit everything in. I had to screw up the order (she wont be happy about that) of the drawings, and its STILL NOT ENOUGH. WTH. Pissed away...
I have to run tonight. Iam SO HAPPY! (not) Been screaming everything I need into my pillow. Why is it only my pillow that sees my silent tears? I dunno how many buckets of tears I have to invest before I stop worrying about stuff, my O's esp next year.

Omgg. I stopped short. Crap. CRAP. CRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPP I THINK MY DAD DELETED MY GAME!!!!!!! OH FREAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!

I miss you.

Dedicated to Hui Loon and Jolin, who buddi-ed me throughout those 5 days:)

We started off as strangers,
Unknown to me and you
but the smile you gave when 1st saw me
is warm and always true.

Through all those days of buddying
We see each other's character.
I promise I will never forget.
The days filled with our laughter.

I wonder if its fate that made
the two of us as friends.
That made two people awesome buddies
Not just a game of pretend.

I hope you know all we've been through
is what I'll never regret
Because the bonds that we both share
is what I'll never forget.

I hope you'll always remember me :)
Not ever far apart.
Beacuse I hope that I have left
Some footprints in your heart :)

I'm glad you helped me just so much,

For that Iam ever grateful

For if you didnt Iam sure my life

Would be ever so much more painful.:)

Hui loon and I:)
btw, that hand is mine.
















Me, Jolin, Hui Loon:) All my jie jie's.






























(left to right) Me, Jolin, Hui loon:) Somehow we bear some uncanny resemblance:)







































~ Yes, I still miss you, even if you don't think of me anymore.

I Miss My Buddy.
Suddenly, everything's died down. The excitement, the wonder, the splendor of a job attachment is gone. I cant believe its all over so quickly. Seems like monday was just yesterday, and that the end was long, long time away. Yes, time flies like an arrow and fruit flies like a banana. But I dont want it to end so quickly. Well, all good things must come to an end, cliche as it sounds.

Today marks the end of my job attachment and the last time iam gonna see my buddy D; *sob* Spend the 1st hour in the spa room, then one of the facillitators pulled us(beverly natasha and I) in for a talk. Dispersed soon after, and found our classes in the E54 block (yay I rmbed the name! ):D . Sat with the class till about, erm, 11.30, then had lunch. Before that, we took a class photo shot which my buddy has yet to upload on fb.

Fish and Chips with my buddy and her friend, Jolin, for lunch. Went back up to the room, where for some reason or another, this guy started playing Hotel 626. There was this.. stage? where 'he' entered a room and saw a baby in a cradle. According to the game, 'he' was supposed to sing to the baby to avoid it waking up. As thought, the baby DID wake up. I was just glad all of us were squashed into one big heap. Yes, we screamed. Then I covered my eyes and slumped again the wall.
Spent the rest of the day sitting in class and tried my utmost to comprehend what the facillitator was on about. Had to leave at 2.45 for a reception:( Sad right. Gave my buddy a hug before I left. Aish. Wanna cry but i couldnt go for the reception with red eyes. Is it an IJ tradition? Idk.

JOb.

Job attachment. Its kinda fun I guess. Yea I know many people dont think that way but I admire, respect and look up to my buddy(ies) who have treated me so well these, 2 days. Without them my job would be HELL, boring. Having them to talk to makes things much more lively, as well as someone to talk to and hang out during lunch break cos for some obscure reason all my friends have disappeared.

I learnt to put behind my painful past and instead look towards a brighter future. Yes, those painful memories, its not their fault that they brought up the subject of my being bullied like shitz in sec 1. I know they're trying to care, to tell me that I shouldnt bother about all these people, but how? Its not so easy.

Had job attachment today. Okay will elaborate more on it when I have time okay. Very tired now so I shall only blog about my dentist appointment.

Went dentist with Bao Yi today!:D Was late for my 7 o clock appointment cos there was a massive traffic jam. REached there, met Bao yi, went inside the clinic. waited for a long long long time. Bao yI went in earlier than me and came out even before I went in. So when I was called, Baoyi and I went in together.

DL ( Dr Loh) : Hi Julyn :) (looks at Bao) You ah, keeping biting your bridge out, dun wanna talk to you.
DL: You know Grace put braces right?
Me: YA OMG SHE LOOKS SO CUTE!!
DL: Ya she put fast braces.
Me: (lies down)
(bao Yi stands in a corner)
Me: DR Loh can u check to see if anything went wrong with my braces this time, my parrot attacked me.
DL: Your what?! Parrot or Parents?
ME: Parrot.
DL: You have a parrot?
ME: Yea.
DL: OHhh aiyo what were you trying to do to it?
ME: I was trying to kiss it
DL: (chokes)
Me: YEa, I know....
DL: You not scared of bird flu ah?
Me: Haha no la..
DL: Birds got no vaccine you know?
Me: yea yea hahah
(gasps as she forces rubber band, this time a conjoining one, onto bracket)
DL: Aiyo pain ahh..
ME : (gasp gasp)
DL : Aiyo..
Me: Thinks (this hurts me to death man)
DL: Bite, julyn.
ME:(bites)
DL: WOA! So straight already!
Me: mmmmmmmmmmmmpppppfffffffffffffffffff
DL: Which was the crooked tooth last time?
Me: (points to 2 teeth beside 2 front teeth)
DL: HUH? I dont remember leh! (to helper) I think Iam having memory loss.
ME: HAHA.
DL: Is this julyn? (to helper)
DL: Is this julyn or not?! (to baoyi)
BAoyi: (Nodds)
(chair is lifted upwards)
Me: (sits up and wipes eyes)
DL: (turns around in shock, momentarily stunned)
DL: You okay right? (pats shoulder) its just 4 weeks la dont miss me!
Me: ... (takes bag)
DL: Really okay?
Me: (nodds)
DL: Okay then, (flying kiss and salute) Zai Jian!
Me: Bye and thank you!

HAHA. Job attachment later okay. I wanna sleeppp. TMr got more work to do.Bye..

Sway day.

LAst day of school. Went to shermaine's house as she wanted to bathe, then trained to Michele's house to cange. Went to Bishan Park from there. Rented a bike for a supposed 1 hour. Then rode for <15 mins, then got an acute attack of cramps. Like WTH, of all times. I couldnt move, my vision was blurred, my fingers were numb. Its scaring me. Honestly. Apart from wasting the money, I cant help wondering if Iam down with some sickness iam unaware of. Yes, jie jie Sarah, ur right. I should see a doctor. Then it rained heavily on the way home. My crumpler's wet through. I dunno. Super messed up.

My Results suck.

Went to East Coast Park today with Bao Yi. Supposedly supposed to meet Bao yi at Yio Chu Kang MRT station at 10, but it got pushed to 11am. Then we decided the meet at Ang Mo kio station instead. Took a train down to TPY interchange, where we waited for bus no. 31, due east and the stop we were supposed to alight at- opposite the Marine Parade shopping centre. Walked into the centre and headed striaght for the information counter because we didnt know the way to East Coast. According to the lady, she told us to walk straight past NTUC and head for the underpass. We did so. The underpass was really dark and dingy. Its not wonder people can get raped then. We just walked faster.

Came out of the underpass and we were already at the walkway towards the park. Walked a short distance, taking photos along the way, then saw the beach and the sea. Found the bicycle kiosk and rented 2 single bikes. I havent cycled in 8 yrs so its nice of Bao Yi to wait for me to BEGIN warming myself up to the bike.
Peddled a short distance, stopped. Bao Yi stopped with me. AFter lots of stops and starts, we continued riding. Was I shaky? YES.To show you the magnitude to which I was shaking, ( I'd probably make a 8.9 on the richter scale ) I looked like I have having spasms.

After a while, the bicycle seat got really hard and painful. Since the bike seat we got was suited for the male anatomy, we were having a really painful and hard time, wincing everytime we went over a hump in the road. I nearly hit a few people, but it was miraculous that I didnt fall:D

Rode my bike onto the grass patch and very nearly fell. I remember Dr Maha once asking us what we saw as we cycled. Well I can say frankly that I saw the road, because if I didnt I'd crash .

WEnt along to macs halfway and we parked our bikes outside. Bao Yi ate a happy meal, while I ate the double cheeseburger meal. we were in there when we saw Mr chan, our PE teacher.=/ Of all places.Isnt it a small world?

SO thirsty that we bought a double choc Frappe after. Cycling under the afternoon sun sure is hot alright.Walked over to the bowling alley were we intended to bowl, but then found the place a bit too dark for our liking, honestly it looks a bit more like a club than a bowling alley. We didnt bowl.

WAlked back to Parkway Parade, took bus no. 135 for a whole HOUR. Reached AMk station, and Bao yI accompanied me back to YCK! She so nice right?! :DD 谢谢.
你知道我爱你. left at the junction of YCK Mrt, near my bus depot.

While Cycling!

More photos anothre day k. My stye just erupter and its hurting me to death.

Poem

Okay. Since I owe chloroPHYLL a poem....



Can you hear the birds chirping in the skies,
Singing to the tunes of Phyll's lullaby?
Can you feel the rain falling ever so gently
Atuned to the sounds of the guitar so intently?



Another thing, i must precide
Is the way her fingers hop and slide.
Can you feel its lack of pain
Dancing, jumping to the sound of the rain?

In many ways, she is a mum
However she also makes a wonderful chum.
A caring person is what she is,
that makes share time with her awfully bliss:)

Thanks to Bao Yi for providing me with the relevant information about Phyll. I sound like a spy =/

THANKS B CUP BAO YI I LOVE YOU <3 <3

BAO YI, I LOVE YOU THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
MUCH!!! THANK YOUUUUUUU <3>

Watch this. Penguins can Flyyyy!!

Yes! Exams are over! I've never felt so much joy in my life, nor ever will again! :D:D Sher and Mich's gone for a chalet, so Iam left alone again D; Nevermind, Bao Yi is a great companion:D So HIGH ALL OF A SUDDEN!! I FEEL LIKE HUGGING MICH AND BAO YI AND SHERMAINE NOW HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! WE HAVE LIVED THROUGH EXAMS!!!! :D :D:D

Iam dead hungry. Urgh... oh ya. I better blog about Mich's birthday 1st.
Went to school early early to sit for our last paper, the Chem paper. Michele had to go sit for a survey, so Shermaine and I and Jia Wen went to TPY interchange 1st to buy the cake (unknown to her) of her birthday.Mich was coming along to TPY at that point in time, so I( NO choice okay!) stuffed the cake into my crumpler bag, while I gave my jacket and pencil case to Shermaine to put in her bag. I had a cold cold back for the rest of the journey. Trooped to KFC later on for breakfast when Mich joined us. Sat down, and leaned back(mistake no.1) Felt the plastic box CRUNCH. Knew it was a mistake. Tried not to look too worried. Ate an American Wrap or something. Sat there for a while, then Estelle came and joined us. She started talking about some sleepover. Soon, Jia Wen and I felt like extras cos only Mich, Sher and Estelle were talking. So we went on to Guardian, which was next door. There was a white benchtop on the outside. I placed my crumpler there and opened my bag. Reached in a took out a squashed cake. A BADLY squashed cake. Thought we heard Mich and Sher coming out of KFC, so I squashed the cake back into my bag (mistake no. 2)Jia Wen started laughing. Then we went into guardian, and looked at the pregnancy kits, baby thermometers, anything to kill time.

Shortly, Mich and Sher came out of KFC and into Guardian. We walked to the interchange, where we said bye to Jia wen as Mich and Sher were coming to my house. Sat down at the stone marble benches and heard the cake inside my bag crumble again. By this time, Mich was getting mighty suspicious. So Sher let her in on the secret a bit, without revealing to her that a cake had been bought.The journey there was uneventful.

Upon reaching my house, I quickly grabbed the cake and placed it in the already full to bursting frige. (mistake no.3) I squashed the cake in as Mich was coming into the kitchen. Then shouted to Mich and Sher to go upstairs. Joined them soon after. Took a bath, then returned to my room, where the air con was on. Mich and Sher were watching some Korean show on the PSP which mich brought. Later, Mich started playing some 3D game, while sher and I campwhored. Out of the photos we took, only one survived Sher and my rating.

Wasted time playing offline games, then went down to the park. Played at the park for some time on the swings, where we campwhored to the max and took self initiated shots. Lots of unglam photos were also taken. One included Sher opening her coffeeshop( okay, not REALLY okay) and Mich's butt.

Bought a cup of Korean noodles at the minimart near my house, as well as a tub of ice cream. Went home and ate the korean noodles the unglam way. (slurping it up from a self made cup fashioned out of the cup noodle cover). Then all of us dug into (literally) the ice cream. Sher messaged me under the table to bring out the cake. I went into the kitchen, realised that there was 2 bags of things in the fringe. I remembered the cake was in a bag, so I opened the 1st bag and intended to bring it out. Then realised it was a bag of bean sprouts. Wasted precious time. Grabbed the squashed cake out of the fringe (minus the bag) and brought it into the dining room with a'happy birthday!' I'll never forget the look on Mich's face. The cake was squshed, badly squshed, with a portion sunk in. Urgh.
Took lots of videos of Mich and her cake. We lighted the cake, sang a happy birthday with it recorded on tape, then realised that the cake had only 14 candles. Sheepishly put another candle on it, relighted the cake. Then mich blew out the cake in my face, smoke and all. If I get lung cancer you know why.

Ate the cake. Mich took a LARGE portion. Then let her bring home the rest of the cake. We came back upstairs, and pretended we were DJs and sarted singing to the karaoke. I think we were drunk. Drunk on cake and ice cream more like. Said bye to my parents, then Mich and sher left. Had to do most of the cleaning up of my room after that.

Blessed Birthday Michele!

I HATE EXAMS TO THE MAX!! I HATE A MATH AND I HATE CHEM. I HATE SOVA. WHY SHOULD WE HAVE END OF YEAR EXAMS! WE SHOULD BE HAVING END OF YEAR PARTY>.<>

God give me the strength to perform to the best of my ability
Even though some questions just show no mercy.
Give me the heart to do my best
And Iam sure that you'll me with the rest. Amen.

Hey! I know I shouldnt be online. But I better post my convo with my orthodontist in case it runs out of my mind:)

Dr Loh (DL) : Ju Lyn! You're next!
Me( gets up and walks in)
Dr Loh: Hello! How're you?
Me: Fine:)
DL: I saw your cousin the other day!
Me: thinks' I have only one cousin and her teeth are perfect!'
DL:Ohh sorry I mean your class mate.
Me: Ohhhh. yea. Grace is it?
DL: yes!
Me: Ohh haha yea she told me what happened to her even if you didnt! *smirks*
DL: Ahh what did she tell you?
Me: She told me that her teeth were 3 cm to the right and that she needed to extract2!
DL: Ya... ( a beat) MILLIMETRES LA!!!
Me: OH ya!! Oops! Not cm srry, mm!
DL: Goodness! 3 cm and I wont even know how to start correcting it!!
Me: (laughs)
DL: come come I better show you.. ( turns around and grabs a steel ruler and brings her thumb up to the 3cm mark)
DL: That's 3 cm! And Grace's mouth is going to be all twisted like this... (makes a funny face)
DL: Her teeth will be out of her mouth! ( another beat) does she really look lopsided to you?
Me: NO...
DL: Haha then??
Me: Can you help me put my phone on the table there pls?
DL:(takes phone from me)
Me(lies down)
DL: (reaches of mirror)
Me: (starts trembling)
DL: Why you fa dou? ( chinese word for shaking)
Me: THis is gonna hurt me to death man..
DL: Wont la! Trust me!(reaches into mouth with mirror again)
DL: I may have good news for you you know!
Me: thinks,Oh yea?
DL: MAYbe, MAYBE, MAYBE! If all goes well, then next year january or febuary you can take you already!
DL : No response?
Me: Oh.
DL: OHhh?
ME : ... ( too painful to speak)
DL : (to her assistant) I think this isnt julyn, its probably julyn's evil twin sister.. julan or julian or something..
Me: thinks, (thanks for disfiguring my name)
( Joyce ( the receptionist), Dr Yap( another dentist) walks in)
Me: Thinks, ' so many ppl'
DL: (to assistant) has julyn chosen her colour?
Assistant: Yep. Pink and purple
DL: AHhh..
DL: So bright
DL: (to assistant) can you pls give me the black wire?
me: thinks,' black wire?!'
DL: (turns around to bend wire)( A beat, 3 mins wait as I sit there doing nothing)
Joyce: Whoa pink ah..
ME: yup, because its not so obvious.
All together (DR Loh, who has now finished her bending, Dr Yap and Joyce and the now Dr Yong who just walked in) : HUH?!!!
Me: (alarmed by all the noise) Ya what..
Dr loh: Pink is obvious! Blue isnt! that what we've all thought?!
Joyce: Pink is obvious! Haha Julyn you colour blind ah?
Me: Hopefully not la:)
Dr Loh: (laughes)
Joyce: Eh!! HEr (me) mentos sweet handphone keychain so cute!
Dr Loh: (looks at it) :Ohya! SO real! CAn we eat it?
ME: You'll be eating cardboard then.
(all start laughing)
Dr Loh: Open up, Iam going to cut off the excess wire
( a snap sound as wire is broken)
Dr Loh: (places a pink rubber band onto bracket and accidently breaks it)
Dr LOh (to assistant): ANother pink band pls
DR LOh: ( to me) Pinkie!
ME: ???
Dr loh: DOne!
ME: (too shaken to speak)
Dr LOh: Julyn, ni bu yao zou!
Me: Sha hen daaaaaa!!
Dr LOh: ???!!!
Me: Nothing *grins*
Dr Loh: Oaky you're okay right? Dont turn blue on me! (grabs my arm and shakes it hard)
Me: Oaky Oaky, iam here:)
Dr Loh: Good! See you in 4 weeks time!
Me: Btw, dr loh, how do you floss teeth with braces?
Dr Loh: Use the floss threader?! you dont have?!!
ME: what's that??
Dr loh( pretends to slam onto table with shock): After 4 months you tell me that?!
Me: i use a toothpick
dr Loh: (standing up) DONT USE TOOTHPICK!
ME: OKAy oaky!
(walks out saying thank you)
Outide...


( 10 mins wait for my dad)
dad walks in.

Me: Hey.
Dad: (goes to counter, gives credit card)
( a beat)
Dad (waves to dr loh whos inside the room)
Dr Loh walks out.
DL: Hello!
DAd: hi.
Me: Dr my wires are BLACK??
DL: Oh ya that's because its been heat treated.not by me, by elsewhere, then its harder this way.
Me: Ohh haha okay oaky :)
(Dr Yong, Dr Yap, Dr Heng walks out. Joyce is processing the card)
DL: So how, you looking forward to getting your braces off?
ME: Not quite. Iam going to miss you also D;
(everyone laughes)
Joyce is done with the credit card.
JOyce: here's your card, have a nice day!
Dr LOh: See you! Goodbye!
Me: Bye!
Walks out.


OMG. DR loh is super cute I promise. And to think I'll have another 3 more months left if all goes well. Sigh.

I just flipped through my SS book. Flipped through, mind you. Stopped at this picture of a army uniform. Is this what SS is about? Studying army suits? Studying the life of army guys? I dont see any link to SS as a subject at all. Seems like we know where the term 'army green' comes from now then.

Its exactly one week to EOYs. Sweating it? urghhh

Okay. Dentist visit again on Monday. Don't you look forward to those funny convos? Haha. I do. :D
Okay. Here's what I plan to do:
Study (though I dont think I can)
AEP (choose my theme and do sketches)

Sometimes I just wanna burst. I cant take this, stress much, stress little, goodness, stressing myself hard through all these things are just going overboard. Was just talking to my cousin about my mental breakdown just yesterday night. Panicked and panicked cos I couldnt do my math. Aish. I wish, I wish I wish I had a older brother/sister to help me.

For Bao Yi

Dedicated To Bao Yi:D

Its great to have you around for me
When troubles showed us no mercy
Where frienship problems and the like of slapsticks
Came down on us like a ton of bricks.

Its great to have you around when I
Always seem to end in a cry.
Where things just fade and night turned to day
When all was lost in the midst of the fray.

Time and again I turn and see
A withering look, a look of plea.
When love was lost and our battle was won
Hearts were broken ,so many were gone.

But still you remain, a stout soldier
Though the world has left, we're no longer juniors.
And when the time comes, to say goodbye
We'll know that our hearts will never die.

I missed one of the few chances to do CIP. THANKS PING EN D; Aish. Nevermind. I'll be dead meat if I cant make the 100 hour mark by next year.

Speaking of which, 2 posts before this I mentioned what it may be like to kiss a guy. And of which Shibin had, HAD to see it, I guess it must be really awkward, I mean?!!

Michele's convo name mentioned something about kissing from a song, so that started the talk. Here it is:

☃JuLyn♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ        says:
*hhahaha
*aww man sad
*my blog post was all about me wondering what guys taste like
*i mean
*omg that sounded so freaking wrong
*i mean, what its like to kiss guy
   


Michele Elena ; caught by the taste of your kiss says:
*you're thinking wrong
*why is it sad?


ME: *its sad cos i though
*thought*
*u'd have to exp and then be able to tell me about it
  

 Michele        Elena     ; caught by the taste of your kiss says:
*lol
*exp it yourself then
     

 ☃JuLyn♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ        says:
*no one to exp with sadly
  

 Michele        Elena     ; caught by the taste of your kiss says:
*lol not no one, but not yet.
*and a first kiss isnt just a kiss from a guy to a girl
      

☃JuLyn♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ        says:
*haha
*really?
*then what is it?
  

 Michele Elena     ; caught by the taste of your kiss says:
*LOL. more profoundly, it means like your true feelings. I MEAN YOU DONT JUST GIVE IT AWAY TO A GUY RIGHT?
      

☃JuLyn♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ        says:
*That's not quite a kiss what
*i thought that's more like. s**
  

 Michele Elena     ; caught by the taste of your kiss says:
*huh FIRST KISS LE
*LEH*
*you think what
*you kiss the guy but the guy doesnt know you like him?
*RIGHT.
      

☃JuLyn♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ        says:
*..
   

Michele        Elena     ; caught by the taste of your kiss says:
*it doesnt mean that you have sex with him then he will know you like him what
      


☃JuLyn♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ        says:
*gosh u sound so fierce
*yea thats true also
  


 Michele        Elena     ; caught by the taste of your kiss says:
*right? i make sense :D
      

☃JuLyn♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ        says:
*haha yea i gues...
*I wonder if it'll come across that way should kissing ever occur
*we think one way, the guy another haha



MIchele asked me not to put this up. But its interesting how different people have different views. So yes, Iam putting it up. I hope michele doesnt give me a black eye tmr.

Just realised that that poem on Shermaine was my 300th post.I cant seem to crank out another poem right now, though I want to, have to, wish to. Alright. I have poems to write about people alright. Here's who I have to write bout:

Mich
Bao Yi aka B cup
Shermaine(done)
All these people deserve really good poems, poems I shouldnt be writing about when Iam half asleep.But I'll write it.
No one else.
Haiz.But wait. I do have something to say about some particular person I know.

You think you're so smart
You think you're a headstart
But no you've got no special key
Different from you and me.

Then you say " I can!"
We'll just say," I dont give a damn!"
One day you'll find yourself stripped of friends
Then you'll know you've reached the end.

Sometimes you act so nice
So I'll help you, but at a price
Let me give you this piece of advice,
You're acting no different from mice.

I dont care much about you
But I care enough to undo
All the stuff you said of me
Before time's even due.

So I hope you'll understand
Why I treat you secondhand
I hope you dont misunderstand
My words as grains of sand.

Thus ends this 'beautiful' poem of you
I must say that its very true
All those things you thought are untrue.
But now you know
Its not for show
That you're just awfully psycho.

HAhas. Bao Yi and I discussing what its like to kiss a guy. After seeing the ridiculous quiz on my facebook, sometimes, I really do wonder. Bao Yi thinks its like marshmellows, I think of cloth (mainly cos I was too tired and hit the pillow Iam hugging and kissed it) =/ Yea. Cloth. No la. I belive its something soft and sweet, perhaps going to be a wash of love among other sepia coloured recollections..

I have a friend, her name is Shermaine
She rants about BBT and is such a pain
No Iam not serious,there is indeed a gain
I learnt about Shermaine's obsession and that she's so vain(joking)
And Michele says, "you can say that again!"

You'll hear her before you see her
She's the noisiest person I know.
At anytime, its not uncommon just to hear her slur.
In all honesty, I must say, She's just a super despo.


But sometimes, though I have to admit,
She can be quite the apposite.
Where she says," I'll give you la"
You know you can next time just steal her car.
She's generous and acts like some grandpapa
With her stomping footsteps she can shake anything ajar.


This poem is dedicated to shermaine, who asked me to create a poem about her

My best friend, the bully


We once met, a long time ago
Where Good times last
And friendships grow
Before I knew it,
You knew me
And you then showed me
No mercy.

When I begged you to stop
You laugh and say,
" That's cos Iam more pop! "
And continued your horendous doings
like lifting skirts
And taking belongings

And suddenly one day
Your actions are found childish
And suddenly, Iam no longer bullied
By you.

I could just be so mean to you,
Just like you were to me.
But the memory of that pain
Holds back any revenge I planned
Instead, I feel much stronger
By offering you a hand.




~Its true. Memories of Sec 1.

Blessed Birthday Shermaine:)
Okay. Now my post shall take on a sadder note. I dont feel like smiling at all. In fact I feel like crying and screaming, "WHYYYY?!!! "


Sometimes, I dunno what to say, or to do with it at all. I know I shouldnt be feeling this way, but it makes me feel so jealous, like, why, I treat you well and love you and everything, and you treat someone else better. I've always thought you were closer to me. Well, seems like I just have to change my perception of things now. Iam disappointed. Awfully disappointed, sad, shocked, cheated.
I know you cared about me much when I was sick. Thanks so very much. And thanks for all that support. I still love you:)


I know I act happy. But Iam really broken up inside.

Another song.

Does this mean its trust?
I see you standing before me,
I loved you not to lust.
Then I told you all about it
It didnt hurt you a bit
You broke that promise to me
And ripped my heart of mercy..

Could this be trust?
Could we ever belong?
Could we take this time and make it real
Before its way to late...

Where is the trust?
Where is the love?
Can we see it all above?
Where is the hope?
Where is the life?
When we see troubles jump and skive....

I can always remember it,
Cos its just too hard to forget
But it makes me really regret
For those times I wished you were gone
That I'll never have see another lover..
But I see you standing before me
Does this mean its over?

Where is the trust?
Where is the love?
Can we see it all above?
Where is the hope?
Where is the life?
When we see troubles jump and skive....

Yes I'd say, you'd left me once before
But I know you never meant it yet to be..
So I say now, I'd never hated you, though I once did, to the core.
I hope that it solves issues,
Its really messed up too.
So lets begin, again
So let there be no more fight
Its wonderous, its fabulous..
because I just wanna be with you tonight!




Oaky. I sound emo. But I guess this could be made into a song also haha:)

Thanks for... A poetry of gratitude

Thanks for always being there,
When others turned away,
Thanks for remaining by my side
When others failed to care.

Thanks for the good times we shared
And memories ever true
When life's struggles tear apart
Its nice to know I'll have you.

Thanks for giving me your support
When life shows no mercy
When tides turn and there you are,
Awaiting, just for me.

Iam sorry for the times I've said
Things that hurt you deep,
Now I know, how hard you tried
To hold my hand and not weep.

Thanks for coming into my life
Like an angel from the heavens
Where none, not one, has bothered,
And where life and death burns.

Thanks for giving me the strength to say,
Though the words may make me blue,
I just want to say, before its too late,
That you're great, I love you:)



~ Thanks for coming into my life:)
Thanks, all of you, for showing support when I was sick:)

Fever today. Didnt go to school. Let me see what i did today okay?
Woke up at 5.50. Super giddy. Walked like a drunkard into my toilet, rinsed mouth.

Went downstairs, ate an egg, then ate half a sausage bun. My mum came downstairs, saw that I had no appetite, asked me if I was well enough to go sch.

Went upstairs, climbed up 1 flight of steps, then suddenly blacked out. Woke up, was on the bed.

My mum said that she called the bus driver, saying I couldnt go to sch. Ate a panadol, then went to slp.

Woke up at 8. Drunkardly walked into the toilet to rinse mouth again.Then went back to sleep.

Woke up at 10. Went into my study room, sat there, stoned, stared at the clock. Opened my math textbook.

Tried to do math. Wrote 'textbk pg 142, Ex 6d' And couldnt write anymore.

WEnt back to bed. Woke up in time to see my mum come home from teaching. No appetite to eat porridge, but ate anyway, cos home remedies cant be eaten on an empty stomach.

It was 3 then. Went back to bed.

Woke up at 5. Mum was staring in my face, wondering if I was okay.

7pm. Woke up, ate some hor fun, went to the doctor, who prescribed anitbiotics, cough syrup, fever medication, sore throat med.

Came home, ate them. THen bathed. IN COLD WATER.

turned on com. damn dizzy now. and nauseas.

Fever. Should I go sch tmr?

Hate this. I have to study, I want to study, I just CANT GET DOWN TO STUDY!! Forget it. I shant.

Geog LORMS havent been done.
SOVA is still uncompleted.

What kind of organised person am I...

Wow. Blogger is finally working man. So now I can see all my icons and can upload photos. But really. Iam lazy to upload. Let see..

Had English Oral today. Was the timekeeper for reg no.s 7 - 19 and 20- 31. My tester was super lienient! :D PS: I know Iam lucky to get him as my tester. I want to say what happened in the pic, but in case the teachers dont wanna change the pic, Iam not blogging about it. To cut a long story short, he said that my pronunciation and articulation of words was good:D and its super surprising considered the fact that I thought I'd slur (okay, yea I did.. a bit) with braces and all ( i bit my tongue halfway and my lips were hooked up the metal bracket) it turned out fairly okay I should think. My next hurdle? The chinese Oral exam- tomorrow. Wish me luck.

I know. I love you guys, friends. Yes, my friends. Not acquaintences- friends. For now i see how important they are, and what they mean to me.

You. You're different from me. Only an acquaitence. But we both have a different set of friends. And sometimes, I think, That's the only reason why you and I cant be.

Talking to Phyllis online and on the phone now. We're supposed to be doing amath, but iam digressing. SHHH ! chloroPHYLL will kill if she finds out.

Fate.

Sometimes, I do wonder if it all boils down to fate. What fate gives us, what we have to accpet simply because ' its fated to be so'. Then again, what really is fate all about? Is it simple the meeting of new faces, of new friends? What can we classify as fate? We often say," Oh, we're fated to meet". Just imagine. Had I not gone to IJ, my home away from home, would I meet my friends? Would I meet Shermaine, my craziest-to-be friend? And Michele, my ever-so-sweet buddy with a cheerful disposition? How about Bao yi? My greatest Epismile buddy and the long hours we spent online? Talking? Would I meet a new set of face? Would my MSN contain another set of emails? I'd never forget the days we spent together, buddies, The crazy one, the sweet one, the great Epismile one. And of course, all the other friends who have not faded but remain constantly there when I need them- Averil, Mavis, etc. etc. And would I say fate brought us all together? In some ways, yes. Is it fate that bring us together? Is it fate that tears us apart? I have yet to know of the answers.