Mid Years begin on Thursday, and I'm typing this with so much fear that I'm not even bothering to stop and check if my sentences make sense or are grammatically correct.
The best part is, I'm not doing anything to assuage that fear.
Call me an idiot if you will, but in a cruel twist of fate and pathetic irony, it's this very same fear that's keeping me from studying. I don't even know what changed. I've learnt that I can trust very few people. Most people lie. They lie through their teeth, smile through their lying happy eyes, and crush with their thoughtless, lying words.
Yes, and it's this cynical sarcasm that's forcing me to rethink my option into a JC. This constant power struggle for achievement, this metaphysical combat we're engaged in everyday is taking more than just a heavy toll- and it's showing, pretty much. I've lost the enthusiasm I once had- the happy innocence of simply living and being in an environment I've grown to love, and in it's place is a strange entity for which I question, with this a muted sense of fear, the reliability of every person I meet, except those whom I wholeheartedly trust.
What seemed right never was right. What appears normal on the surface was but a mere concealment of reality. What appears superficially usual hides the menacing, even ugly, and strangely, comic aspect of the raw, painful truth.
The best part is, I'm not doing anything to assuage that fear.
Call me an idiot if you will, but in a cruel twist of fate and pathetic irony, it's this very same fear that's keeping me from studying. I don't even know what changed. I've learnt that I can trust very few people. Most people lie. They lie through their teeth, smile through their lying happy eyes, and crush with their thoughtless, lying words.
Yes, and it's this cynical sarcasm that's forcing me to rethink my option into a JC. This constant power struggle for achievement, this metaphysical combat we're engaged in everyday is taking more than just a heavy toll- and it's showing, pretty much. I've lost the enthusiasm I once had- the happy innocence of simply living and being in an environment I've grown to love, and in it's place is a strange entity for which I question, with this a muted sense of fear, the reliability of every person I meet, except those whom I wholeheartedly trust.
What seemed right never was right. What appears normal on the surface was but a mere concealment of reality. What appears superficially usual hides the menacing, even ugly, and strangely, comic aspect of the raw, painful truth.
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