Friday, May 4, 2012

I've got a strange feeling that, at this rate, I'm going to go nowhere. Because the way I see it, I'm stuck in this place, this institution of education whereby I'm entrained into movement by the momentum of the teachers, people and even the friends around me. I can't get out, as much as I would like to. And I can't keep floating as well. I need to get out. I want to.

Times like these, I'd say, I want to break free, as cliche as it sounds. ( But it's cliche because such a collocation is overused, and the reason why it's overused is because it actually withstands the test of time and holds true, no?) I'm tired of travelling down this road for which I see no light. I'm the sojourner who dwells in the simple pleasure of doing as I like ( not practical) and choose when I would like to do something ( even more impractical).

Though one could argue that the MYEs aren't a true reflection of one's ability, the fact that the MYEs does stand as a form of benchmark for which we have to attain, or fall short and feel the hardness of the ground beneath us. Sometimes even I don't even realise why I'm doing this, trying so hard to reach for the pole that hangs far out of reach- when there are already others who have gotten a firm hand upon that pole and are gleefully on their way to scoring As for their, well, As.

The MYE exam today was a killer. Even in the areas I felt I was somewhat competent, I couldn't have been more surprised by the paper. Then again, it is ridiculous to place 2 content-heavy subjects on the same day ( Geog/Hist AND math) causing people like me to invest so much time into geog that math is left to play second fiddle. Or perhaps it isn't even in the orchestra. Then again, I didn't exactly study so I don't really have anyone to blame- not that I would blame anyone, anyway.

On a side note, I... I shall not mention this.. There's too many thoughts to even begin to attempt phrasing them into words. Main thing is, I'm confused. Very confused.







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