You know what? Screw this. I'm not a counsellor. I'm not even near to even being one. I don't even know if I can, want to, or even are passionate enough to be- and I just mean on a personal level, not even a professional one. My passion is in literature. Or law ( but forget the latter, I'm never gonna succeed in that field).

Therefore, apart from using all the counsellor's jargon and attempting to wander blindly into the field ( crazed one, sometimes) of psychology, I should just remove myself entirely.. and stick to what's expected of me- studies and school work.

In fact sometimes I feel I'm not even qualified to be complaining about these 'cases' because, look, who the hell am I trying to be? I'm frustrated that people think I'm just trying to emulate a friend of mine who's basically so altruistic he'd try his best to save everyone; I don't emulate for the sake of trying to 'be like someone else'. Hell. I'd sit down and talk to anyone if I could but now people look at me and they think, ' oh, she's just just pretending to help someone. She doesn't even mean it. ' 

What's more ironic is if the person whom I'm helping thinks that way. I'm sick of it. Why am I even trying to help a friend of mine who's so broken up over a relationship issue if he doesn't even think I'm qualified to help?

Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm too big for my own bloody boots to help. Maybe I'm just not altruistic enough to help someone. 

I don't usually give a damn about what people think of me, but if my friends, or worse still, the very person I'm helping think that I'm helping just to IMITATE this other friend of mine, I'm going to give up. I'm gonna stop trying to help my 'case' ( should I even be using such counsellor's jargon now, anyway? ) because the fact that he thinks I'm just imitating someone else means that he simply doesn't believe I'm worthy enough to help him. 

My emotions are a mess. I want to prove that I'm not just emulating my friend for the sake of it ( how the hell do I do that, exactly? ) and give the whole bloody thing up as well. 

I think my limit is if my friend, whom certain people believe I'm emulating, feels that I'm emulating him for the sake of convergence and asks me about it. I don't even want to think about how bad the snap/hurt would be.