Self talk 2 Dont bother reading..

I have to learn to be happier. Where has the old me gone to? The wind? i cant even remember the last time I was over the moon. Someone said I was overpressurizing myself. I think about that statement. How true is that? I know for a fact i think studies are my life. But yet others who dont think that way do better than me. And when i finally face it reality slaps me in the face, jolting me awake and making me realise that what i've been doing all this while doesnt count. Iam starting to slide behind my work and this frightens me the most. Iam still living in a dream like state. I want to wake up. I have to wake up. I dont have the courage to wake up and face reality. But i know its still there for me, rearing its ugly head when i least expect. Let me get up and face this monster! Take me out of this dream! I need someone to shake me hard and scream," wake up!!! " in my face! Its here and it wont run away. Iam still afraid. All this self talk is coming to a NIL. Its slipping away. But this time I wont let it. I must seize it and give it a freaking hard box.That's the only way I'll ever succeed.