Sigh. Physics book sucks. Chemistry even worse. Sigh. Aiya. This is life. I MUST GET USED TO IT. GRRRRRRR.

:D

HI! Haha... Iam happy.. so happy. My appeal succeeded! :D Now in 3/6. Hahaha... Ok. Estelle was in 3/8 with me but now we've both managed to appeal out-Estelle's in 3/7 though:( anyway..Yay:) Sigh. Better work hard. haha. BYEE:)

QUIZ!

YO. HAHa. Guess what? I stopping tuition. Together with Yi. Sorry Rachel:D Keep in touch via MSN, will u? Haha. ok. Eh, rachel I've stolen your quiz:) sorry about that but imitation is the sincerest form of flattery:D

1) What color is your phone?
White, But it used to be red...:)


2) Who's the first person who comes up under the letter M?
Mum, LOL


3) Who's the last person you called?

Mu mum,Haha, to pick me from the bus stop cos it was pitch dark out.

4) Who was your last missed call from?
Averil:D


5) Who's the 2nd person who miss called?
Mum, I think? If iam not wrong...


6) Who's speed dial 2?
No one. But I've just put Averil as the no. 2 speed dial:)


7) Who's the 3rd person who comes up under J?
Omg. I..I only kinda saved her name in cos I was doing the drama project.Its Jini.


8) Who was your last received call?
My mum,probably. It says 'no number' cos my home no. is private:P



9) Who was your second last received call?
Averil. Thats for sure:)


10) What is your wallpaper?
erm, One where there are a few butterflies and flowers... its a theme:)


11) What is your screensaver?
Same, also from theme:)


12)How many text messages you received?
1198 is what is recorded. Cos i didnt clear for 3-4 months. :)


13) What's the 5th message say in your inbox?
Erm.. Must I say?! Haha. Its from Averil:) iam not going to say for fear of a black eye again:D.jkjk


14) Who was your last text message from?
Averil again:)


15) What is your alarm sound?
What's that? SMS ring tone? Its MSN messenger sound.


16) What is your handphone ringtone?
SMack dat!



17) Name every person you have text messages from.
Whoa, that's a lot. Averil, Mavis, Mum, Crystal, Cherie, Stephenie, Estelle, Shermaine, CAthy,
CHeryl Tang.My cousin,Eugenia, Elizabeth,Phyllis,Shimona,Tessa,Yi chuan......etc. A lot lah:)


18) Have you seen the 101 Chuck Norris facts?
One word: HUH?!


19) Who's the 3rd person on your U?
Uncle frank.


20) What does the 3rd message in your outbox say?
It says, ' there are no messages in your outbox folder'


21) Who is the first name in your phonebook?
Averil again:)


22) Who is the last name in your Phonebook?
Yi chuan! :)


23) Last 4 digits of your number?6857. haha. Averil's is 1694, mavis is 0390:)


24) Starhub/M1/Singtel?
Singtel:)

Stuff...

Went for some CIP at SGH with Averil yesterday. We started with the delivery of papers to different rooms, then some ripping of paper, chopping of papers, then stapling. Weird I tell u. Haha. anyway, I did learn sth, and that is,I love chops no more.

REsults of appeal on monday. Iam so scared...I hate disappointing my parents, even more than I hate disappointing myself. Sigh. What a mess.

What if I just fell off a building and died? That way I wont be disappointing anyone. No iam not suicidle.But I know I cant. How sad...

...

SIGH..........

20 years later...

Iam appealing for a transfer of classes. Hope I can. What went wrong i wonder. I did study. I did!!!!!!! WHY?! I dont understand the logic of it all.. Why cant i be as good as others, when they do well, SO CAN I!!!!!!! I CAN DO IT!!!!!! I MUST BELEVE I CAN!!!!!!!!!! BELIEVE AND I WILL SUCCEED!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I seriously wonder what people thought of me during th time in class lol. Bet they think its nothing to be crying over the results. But this is real!! this is going to affect my future!! WHAt was i thinking? I bet they all felt awkward lol....Imagine this scenario...

20years have passed...

( i walk into a doctors clinic)
(knock knock)
Averil: Come in...
Me: Good morning Doctor Deng...
Averil:Sit down...What's the problem?
Me: Iam not sure.. see I have a persistant flu..
Averil:patient's name...hey that sounds familiar...
Me: your name sounds familiar too..
Averil: I cant believe it! you're my childhood friend!
Me: What?! really?! wow! You've changed alot!
Averil: so have you...
( the usual hugging, and the next thing you know Averil has caught my flu.. haha...)

Me(gushing): I cant believe you've made and become such a successful doctor!
Averil: thank you! and what are u working as, may I know?
Me: well, i..i..iam just a..a archiect...
Averil: that's great!
Me: but its not as a high paying job as yours...
Averil: wasnt that what you've always wanted?
Me: ya but...
Averil: Lets check you over, shall we?
(nurse walks in, briskly hands Averil a bag)
(a pause)
Averil: there we go. You're done. Its just the common flu.
Me: thank you. See you again soon.
Averil: goodbye, and dont forget to take your prescription on the way out.
Me(closing door): bye...

I hope u like this monologe. HAHA. Laugh away:) Hopefully averil wont give me a black eye for wrting this:)

SIgh

SIgh...i got nothing to say. Cried myself sick. Life is complicated right now..:'(

photo of US!

Haha. Here we go. from left: Averil, Mavis and I. Mavis is super photogenic. HAha.
Oh, and i didnt upload the other photo cos of camera shake. sigh. but i guess both averil and mavis looked good, except that I wasnt looking at the camera.:(

teachers, and the big part they play in a student's life

I don't really know what to say, or do now. I can't believe it. The bombshell just dropped-Miss Ho has resigned! I only found out late last night and i woke up this morning wondering if it was just a dream. To think that I didn't even mention a word about it during the exhibition and was just telling her what I thought of my artwork on the wall, like everything was normal.Wrong. It was not.

Then She sent me some message asking me to continue drawing,imagining and creating. I thought that she wasn't going to be teaching us next year. Wrong again. She's leaving for good. I guess she was one of the nicest teachers i've ever met, someone i could really talk to without feeling awkward. SIGH. All the best for your future and may God bless you always:)

Then comes the second bombshell, but this applies to everyone. Not really a bombshell, more like a a ticking time bomb. Mrs Wong won't be teaching us. SIgh again. I mean, ok, she goes beyond the level of studies and brings it down to a more personal level. I guess she understands what we all are going through, and is probably the teacher who affected me the most this year( in terms of grades and etc.) SOmehow, you can tell when a teacher really is compassionate about her job or not. From the conversation, (which included Mrs Wong, my mum and I ) She said that she 'loved her job too much to want to stay in Perth'. Bet other teachers don't have the desire to stay on because of the love for something.

Yet despite the fact that our class had a horrible reputation, Mrs Wong actually selected to teach our class. FOr that, i guess we owe it to her. Thank you Mrs Wong. WE LOVE YOU <3

End of year woes

So there we go. The end of the very last day of our school year in 2/4 08.It makes me cry just writing about this. WHY? I can't get rid of that heart-wrenching feeling that engulfes me very time I think of what the future may be, what obstacles lie ahead, what challenges we might face. I tried, I REALLY tried to stem the tears which I remember Averil and I just mentioning about the day before, " do you think anyone would cry on the last day, tomorrow?" SIGH. I swore I wouldn't, I shoudn't , I can't cry, but yet I did. I made a list of people I would really miss. NO THEY ARE NOT ALL. But Iam just listng those I've bonded with. Here it is: (in no specific order)

1. Averil( the steadfast, understanding,great councellor,strong-willed:) )
2.Mavis( the sweet, funny, happy,I'll-never-insult-anyone person:) )
3.Shermaine( lollipop-lover,funny, happy-always:) )
4.Estelle( funny, easy-going:) )
5.Chloe(My best neopets buddy! :) )
6.Phyllis(Optimistic, great source of comfort:) )
7.Crystal(Clear as her name suggests, nice, easy-going:) )
8.Stephenie(sweet, understanding:) )

Pls note that I mean well when I write this and don't give me a black eye.

What i remember most about these people:

1.Averil: band, Clarinet, comforter
2.Mavis: haha, Chinese pro, dog-lover
3.Shermaine: AEP, lollipop,guides
4.Estelle: Guides
5.Chloe: Neopets, bowling
6.Phyllis: My p6 friend
7.Crystal: Badminton
8.Stephenie: Red Cross, blog-pro

I can't forget these people. They have played a big role in my life. Not to mention those who annoy me. But Its ok. I forgived you long ago. I remember a song ( sung by Avril Lavigne, My happy ending)

Lets talk this over
its not like we're dead
was it something I did
was it something you said
don't leave me hanging
in a city so dead
held up sp high
on such a breakable thread
you were all I ever thought I knew
and I thought we could be.......

Friends, are just friends, let the good times come.....

It took me some time to start writing something. Its not like I feel like it, but iam feeling subdued. Not that i want to. I was hoping for a holiday better than last year's. but as it turned out, that's not going to be the case. Why is everyone shooting ahead now? Everyone has changed so much, both for the better and the worse. Some used to be so nice, and now they have changed so drastically that should they just wear a mask, I won't even recognise them anymore. Why? I seem to be stuck in this place, like a rat in a trap while all my fellow 'rats' have found a way to escape and have moved on. leaving me, the sad me behind. Thinking about it now, I guess my results were far from ideal. Why do all my close friends do better? Why can't i be up to their level? I don't understand. Next year, will i be so embarassed to meet my friends who are in so much a better class than i am? I can't bear to face the fact that we will all be moving on next year, seemingly to another era. Our relationships which we have so seamlessly sewn together will be ripped apart with such force that we may not even acknowledge each other as friends. I try to think, 'Frens 4 eva!' will remain true to its words, but we all know that friendships may not last and most importantly, FRENS ARE NOT FOREVER!!!!! We must all learn to recognise this. Friends come and go, withour our knowing, we have already lost them.

To top it all, I can only say that I must now face the blatant fact that my results aren't good enough to put me in the same class as my friends this year.

So i can only say this. I hope that this doesnt sound as if Iam losing hope, or if u feel uncomfortable about this, Iam sorry. Averil and Mavis, goodbye friends.

ps. to lighten this message, Iam not going to die. Not yet I hope.

mmmmmmmmfffffffffffffffffffffffffff

Sigh. HAHA ok not a very good way to start. Results are released tmr. Don't frighten me any further by asking any of the teachers how the class did.

Found out we had a new gym comm. today from Sheryl. Yup, a bit late isnt it? I probably wasnt even there for the selection( how do u select anyway?) and a whole new comm is now faced with more responsibilities, people, etc...

Haha ok. I just read Shermaine's blog and she says she wants to 'learn dance'. ok then I'll say. Somehow rhythmic gym appeals to me now. i must be going mad. I don't stick to my CCAs. They're not even related! Ok. lets see...

P1-P2: selected for the rhytmic gym schoolteam. Dunno how I got in. Must be a case of luck. Quit because I did'nt dare to learn the split( which iam trying to now with little success).

P4-P6: Selected for photo and video Society. Met the twins, Xin hui and Xin Ru and Nicolette.

Sec 1: Joined Tramp.Was in school team and didn't know it. So pro right?

Sec2: joined Schoolteam for 2 mths, then quit( don't ask me why)

SIgh....... I learnt this sometime ago but never put it into action: a rolling stone gathers no moss. Should have realised this earlier.

THe dog!:)

Hey. Iam in school now and blogging. HAHAHA:) ok nevermind. better hurry before someone comes;P Here's a picture of my favourite dog:)

A shiba Inu. HAHAHA:)

Iam overly( how ever u spell it) happy. TOo hyper. drank too much milo:D

THanks to www.sxc.hu/photo/738637 whom i found the picture from.

life sucks sometimes!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some people think they are so good when they aren't. They like provoking people when they aren't listening. Its called being kinda cowardly, isn't it? I mean, what's the use of talking to someone when they don't even listen. Sometimes, everyone sees me as the subdued person on the outside. They don't even know what to look out for in a person. ( wipes away angry tears). Its quite annoying when others say," oh all teenagers act like that! ANGRY, MAD AND WEIRD . Just leave them."

As far as i've said, I know only people like us know what Iam talking about. Keep it that way. They say we're immature. Lets show them they are immature too ok?!

;)

Look at the godly hour. Holidays again. Changed my skin again. its called boredom stes in. haha. Ok, my CA results improved from the other time. HAHAHA ok Iam nuts. Lets see if there's still room for improvement. :)

I realise that with our presence in the world, there are some things we cannot change. Some things which we don't want to happen but are beyond our control. Why arewe focusing on these things? We should be focusing on things we have control over. Watching the olympics in Beijing, I've realised that I've learnt more than that some people are pros in certain things. I've learnt that we cant push the blame onto another person when it is clearly our fault. I've learnt that we cant cry over split milk. Its quite heart-wrenching to see our athletes, who compete so hard for Singapore, cry over something when we get the benefit. And there's also something I dont understand. Why are people still insensitive enough to say that our athletes don't preform well because they were competing on their homeland? They were brought up for part of their lives in Singapore. They made Singapore proud. They earned a princely 'income'. Most important of all, they tried their best and are able to realise their full potential. And that is what I think matters the most.

kaes, I havent posted for some time, I know. Hey all of u who were unfortunate enough to witness me being in some sour mood... iam not, not... you know.... er, ok. Lets start my true (current) life story.

Things which annoyed me today:

1st: ran . I was feeling slightly sick. Still ran. i was forced to.
2nd: I had to go for my chinese tuition..Sigh. Was beheaded in class because I forgot the format for formal chinese letter writing( gong han )
3rd: Went for my piano exam practise. The piano was awful.piano exam on Wedbye. watch this show on gymasts..

Come on, where's my guardian angel when I need it?

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Iam so freaked ok?! I can't believe I did something to an innocent animal!! Sigh...

I was trying to clip my lovebird (Murphy)'s toenails today. Ok, I knew it was very, as in VERY long, and sooner or later, the nails would get caught in the bars of the cage beacuse it was long. Just as I had placed the nail clipper( yes, it shares my nail clipper as well )at the nail, it made this sudden movement, trying to escape. It was when I made a desicion, a very bad desicion to try and clip the nail even if it was moving. Then guess what? I clipped its vein. U see, the nail can only be clipped at the very tip and I accidently clipped it to far. Yes it was squeaking, but it squeaks all the time so I didn't think anything was wrong until I saw like, 2 minute drops of blood on the floor and I thought, ok this is it.



I picked the bird up and realised that the tip of the nail where I had clipped was bleeding. Ok, you're thinking its no big deal. But it was a lot, ALOT of blood, and really, it wouldn't stop. Even after I applied pressure. Someone help.



Ok, then to cut a long story short, its fairly alright now, but I have to treat it like a delicate wind mobile. That means, no flying, no grabbing, no running up and down the inside of my shirt( yes it does that) , no acting like a alien stuck in a overturned plastic bowl, no playing for short.



Last but no least, if anyone knows of any remedies which can help the bird, pls pls pls pls pls....tag me. Iam really desperate, really really am.

birthdays-pains and pleasures

Its funny when they say," many happy returns of the day!" on your birthday. Its like they are wishing that you will only be happy on your birthday, when actual fact is that you should be happy everyday and 'live your life to the fullest'. Thing is, its not human to live like its a 'merry,little land' everyday and we all do feel annoyed or upset some certain day. Sometimes you just don't feel like talking to a certain person, or you just feel snappy when someone talks to you about 'crap' things. See, to err is a human. Some simply don't understand that fact. (eg. i baked a cake and burnt it on my 1st attempt and got a shelling). I don't get it. Others treat you well only on your birthday. What?! i can't be normal on other days?

But sometimes they do bring some good too. Besides the routine of eating cake, gifts, singing the all too familiar' happy birthday to you', you get that good feeling inside that , wow, this only occurs once a year, and you plus an extra candle to that cake. thing is, what really is the significance of the cake etc.? Iam betting that you don just eat a' something floured, baked with yeast- wow ! you get a cake! ' on your birthday. well sure, you don't buy that big a cake on normal days, but surely you eat bread, that's flour and yeast too.

Here's another thing, i refered to days which arent your birthday as' normal days', didnt i? Its like trying to say that having your birthday is abnormal, or should i say, special, if you want the optimistic way. GTG now. Going for AEP at 1.00

Would u call me messy? annoying? weird? wadever....

When u don fit in, u become superhuman. You can feel everybody's eyes on you. stuck like velcro. u can hear a whisper from about a mile away.u can disappear, even when it looks like you're standing rite there. u can scream, and nobody hears a sound.

Isnt it true?

Guess who's with me here? Averil's here. hahahahahaha....

Life is a little complicated rite now. :(