It took me some time to start writing something. Its not like I feel like it, but iam feeling subdued. Not that i want to. I was hoping for a holiday better than last year's. but as it turned out, that's not going to be the case. Why is everyone shooting ahead now? Everyone has changed so much, both for the better and the worse. Some used to be so nice, and now they have changed so drastically that should they just wear a mask, I won't even recognise them anymore. Why? I seem to be stuck in this place, like a rat in a trap while all my fellow 'rats' have found a way to escape and have moved on. leaving me, the sad me behind. Thinking about it now, I guess my results were far from ideal. Why do all my close friends do better? Why can't i be up to their level? I don't understand. Next year, will i be so embarassed to meet my friends who are in so much a better class than i am? I can't bear to face the fact that we will all be moving on next year, seemingly to another era. Our relationships which we have so seamlessly sewn together will be ripped apart with such force that we may not even acknowledge each other as friends. I try to think, 'Frens 4 eva!' will remain true to its words, but we all know that friendships may not last and most importantly, FRENS ARE NOT FOREVER!!!!! We must all learn to recognise this. Friends come and go, withour our knowing, we have already lost them.
To top it all, I can only say that I must now face the blatant fact that my results aren't good enough to put me in the same class as my friends this year.
So i can only say this. I hope that this doesnt sound as if Iam losing hope, or if u feel uncomfortable about this, Iam sorry. Averil and Mavis, goodbye friends.
ps. to lighten this message, Iam not going to die. Not yet I hope.
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