why does this happen!!!

SIGH. NOt a good start but its bad enough. A maths is already confusing enough-and its the second day! haiya haiya..what if i cant catch up with the class? and then i have to rush to try and understand the concept... and while iam trying to understand it the teacher has already gone on!! then if i dont understand this 2nd question i'll have to relook at it and by then the teacher would have gone 3 qns ahead! argh my worst nightmare comes through again... nooooooooo i hope this doesnt happen pls pls!!!!!!!!!!

happy new year(not)

OMG. Its just 1st day and it already started on a bad note.I cant say for sure whether its possible to withstand all the extra load coming in, what with add math as a new subject this year. Apart from the extra problems, eg. friendship problem, group work, etc etc..

As one of my friends rightly said, " cannot succumb to pressure, u must be its master, and not let it be your master." its really true. We all handle pressure in different ways, althought currently i can only think of one, drinking. What happens when a person is suffering from pressure? we become negative and pessimistic. " pessimistic old woman" is also what i've been described as xD you know who you arexD

I also think of somthing else. Only just did i realise what its really like to have an older brother or sister, especially one who can actually give advice and not a lecture. ok, i do admit, it does get pretty boring and lonely at times. Then again, we cant choose our siblings, so yea..:) i see many siblings fighting with each other at this age. Probably wont if they grow older i guess. SIgh. Iam not really sure how to put this across. maybe i should i wait...

Crying, and why we do that

This is what i've realised: Different people look at different things in different ways. Ok. Say for people like us, we dont think too much when we cry in front of others, esp, if the other party is a girl. More often than not, we're likely to gain a little bit of sympathy from them. i mean, tears are the universal sign of sadness. We hope to gain sympathy and comfort from it, to the extent that it almost becomes an obsession. i've read that humans will cry when there is no other possible way out. Its so different. I mean, generally when guys see someone crying they think," OMG crybaby" , but when girls see the same thing they say," OMG poor thing.."IDK. hai.

ermm....

OMG. Rmb the toilets in China? OMG OMG OMG. I think they beat the record seriously. they were out of this world. Like, we went to the CCTV studios where shows with olden time scenes where filmed, the toilet was a drainage system, and had stable doors.. you know those which you can peep over... someone did... OMG..

saying goodbye? idk.....

SIgh. Iam back. so sian. school's starting way too soon. I miss the weather there. seriously i mean here we go into the shopping centre to cool down. There we go into the shopping centre to warm up. The photo was taken while i was in a boat on the erm, 3rd day? it was the Yiwu cruise. went to woozy( sorry wuxi) on the 5th day.. the pearl factory, which was good but all the guys were pretty bored..cant blame them:)I managed to take a few funny photos of the direct translation from chinese to english, cant post them now.. its in the camera:( but one was written : ( in chinese) xiao xin de hua ( in english) be careful of landslide. i mean, de=land, hua=slide. :)

I realise that its a hundred times harder to say goodbye to someone when u know its almost impossible that you'll see them again..We know the usual sayings," We'll keep in touch!" and the usual exchange of phone numbers or email addresses only provides the psychological comfort of not losing each other entirely. But as time goes by we soon realise that it becomes harder and harder to comply with what one has said to the other, and soon the words are forgetten. I think the hardest of all is when friends are made on a short term notice, eg. holiday, because we dont see each other on a day to day basis. I think it really is because once the duration of the tour is over, we end up saying goodbye and shedding hot tears over the seperation of friendship.

As the saying goes, it takes two hands to clap. therefore, it takes 2 to keep a friendship. one person can we enthusiastic but if the other person doesnt quite keep up, the friendship can be broken as easily a cotton thread. Iam not saying that all friendships dont turn out well. Some do, and i realise its because apart from the fact that we dont meet each other all the time. Aiya. i hope this one turnes out though. I really do...

Oh man. Iam repeating myself. aiya iam talking crap la. better end off before i say more crap. sigh........

GReetings from Shanghai!:)

Yo.:) guess where iam now. Iam in shanghai using the hotel com. OMG OMG OMG. SO awfully cold. 0 degrees. Oh and from what my tour guide said, the milk here is safe? IDk. TOok the maglev train. Went to Su zhou. a lot of temple s and a river. then today,went to xi tang water town. took a boat to the village. its super old i tell u. unlike the modern city... hai. every single dinner and lunch is the same... a dinner with a lazy susan. just food... oh and i tried the chou dou fu. the specialty i guess. not chou at all. I like the smell in fact. haiya. damn cold. I have to stir the milo to dissolve with a toothbrush. Toilet can see through. :0I think iam goin to bed now. 8.30pm. sigh. more again when iam back. bye:)

:)

Yay:) leaving for the airport in 2 hours time:)

:) just for fun...

Yo:) haha iam back:) Just for fun:)

Screenshots of my character in EO.

Photo on left: Iam the one in the red christmas hat near the statue:)

photo on the right: there's only one character..

Ooh iam leaving for Shanghai on the 14th Midnight( or is that 15?) haha..

Sigh. Physics book sucks. Chemistry even worse. Sigh. Aiya. This is life. I MUST GET USED TO IT. GRRRRRRR.

:D

HI! Haha... Iam happy.. so happy. My appeal succeeded! :D Now in 3/6. Hahaha... Ok. Estelle was in 3/8 with me but now we've both managed to appeal out-Estelle's in 3/7 though:( anyway..Yay:) Sigh. Better work hard. haha. BYEE:)

QUIZ!

YO. HAHa. Guess what? I stopping tuition. Together with Yi. Sorry Rachel:D Keep in touch via MSN, will u? Haha. ok. Eh, rachel I've stolen your quiz:) sorry about that but imitation is the sincerest form of flattery:D

1) What color is your phone?
White, But it used to be red...:)


2) Who's the first person who comes up under the letter M?
Mum, LOL


3) Who's the last person you called?

Mu mum,Haha, to pick me from the bus stop cos it was pitch dark out.

4) Who was your last missed call from?
Averil:D


5) Who's the 2nd person who miss called?
Mum, I think? If iam not wrong...


6) Who's speed dial 2?
No one. But I've just put Averil as the no. 2 speed dial:)


7) Who's the 3rd person who comes up under J?
Omg. I..I only kinda saved her name in cos I was doing the drama project.Its Jini.


8) Who was your last received call?
My mum,probably. It says 'no number' cos my home no. is private:P



9) Who was your second last received call?
Averil. Thats for sure:)


10) What is your wallpaper?
erm, One where there are a few butterflies and flowers... its a theme:)


11) What is your screensaver?
Same, also from theme:)


12)How many text messages you received?
1198 is what is recorded. Cos i didnt clear for 3-4 months. :)


13) What's the 5th message say in your inbox?
Erm.. Must I say?! Haha. Its from Averil:) iam not going to say for fear of a black eye again:D.jkjk


14) Who was your last text message from?
Averil again:)


15) What is your alarm sound?
What's that? SMS ring tone? Its MSN messenger sound.


16) What is your handphone ringtone?
SMack dat!



17) Name every person you have text messages from.
Whoa, that's a lot. Averil, Mavis, Mum, Crystal, Cherie, Stephenie, Estelle, Shermaine, CAthy,
CHeryl Tang.My cousin,Eugenia, Elizabeth,Phyllis,Shimona,Tessa,Yi chuan......etc. A lot lah:)


18) Have you seen the 101 Chuck Norris facts?
One word: HUH?!


19) Who's the 3rd person on your U?
Uncle frank.


20) What does the 3rd message in your outbox say?
It says, ' there are no messages in your outbox folder'


21) Who is the first name in your phonebook?
Averil again:)


22) Who is the last name in your Phonebook?
Yi chuan! :)


23) Last 4 digits of your number?6857. haha. Averil's is 1694, mavis is 0390:)


24) Starhub/M1/Singtel?
Singtel:)

Stuff...

Went for some CIP at SGH with Averil yesterday. We started with the delivery of papers to different rooms, then some ripping of paper, chopping of papers, then stapling. Weird I tell u. Haha. anyway, I did learn sth, and that is,I love chops no more.

REsults of appeal on monday. Iam so scared...I hate disappointing my parents, even more than I hate disappointing myself. Sigh. What a mess.

What if I just fell off a building and died? That way I wont be disappointing anyone. No iam not suicidle.But I know I cant. How sad...

...

SIGH..........

20 years later...

Iam appealing for a transfer of classes. Hope I can. What went wrong i wonder. I did study. I did!!!!!!! WHY?! I dont understand the logic of it all.. Why cant i be as good as others, when they do well, SO CAN I!!!!!!! I CAN DO IT!!!!!! I MUST BELEVE I CAN!!!!!!!!!! BELIEVE AND I WILL SUCCEED!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I seriously wonder what people thought of me during th time in class lol. Bet they think its nothing to be crying over the results. But this is real!! this is going to affect my future!! WHAt was i thinking? I bet they all felt awkward lol....Imagine this scenario...

20years have passed...

( i walk into a doctors clinic)
(knock knock)
Averil: Come in...
Me: Good morning Doctor Deng...
Averil:Sit down...What's the problem?
Me: Iam not sure.. see I have a persistant flu..
Averil:patient's name...hey that sounds familiar...
Me: your name sounds familiar too..
Averil: I cant believe it! you're my childhood friend!
Me: What?! really?! wow! You've changed alot!
Averil: so have you...
( the usual hugging, and the next thing you know Averil has caught my flu.. haha...)

Me(gushing): I cant believe you've made and become such a successful doctor!
Averil: thank you! and what are u working as, may I know?
Me: well, i..i..iam just a..a archiect...
Averil: that's great!
Me: but its not as a high paying job as yours...
Averil: wasnt that what you've always wanted?
Me: ya but...
Averil: Lets check you over, shall we?
(nurse walks in, briskly hands Averil a bag)
(a pause)
Averil: there we go. You're done. Its just the common flu.
Me: thank you. See you again soon.
Averil: goodbye, and dont forget to take your prescription on the way out.
Me(closing door): bye...

I hope u like this monologe. HAHA. Laugh away:) Hopefully averil wont give me a black eye for wrting this:)

SIgh

SIgh...i got nothing to say. Cried myself sick. Life is complicated right now..:'(

photo of US!

Haha. Here we go. from left: Averil, Mavis and I. Mavis is super photogenic. HAha.
Oh, and i didnt upload the other photo cos of camera shake. sigh. but i guess both averil and mavis looked good, except that I wasnt looking at the camera.:(

teachers, and the big part they play in a student's life

I don't really know what to say, or do now. I can't believe it. The bombshell just dropped-Miss Ho has resigned! I only found out late last night and i woke up this morning wondering if it was just a dream. To think that I didn't even mention a word about it during the exhibition and was just telling her what I thought of my artwork on the wall, like everything was normal.Wrong. It was not.

Then She sent me some message asking me to continue drawing,imagining and creating. I thought that she wasn't going to be teaching us next year. Wrong again. She's leaving for good. I guess she was one of the nicest teachers i've ever met, someone i could really talk to without feeling awkward. SIGH. All the best for your future and may God bless you always:)

Then comes the second bombshell, but this applies to everyone. Not really a bombshell, more like a a ticking time bomb. Mrs Wong won't be teaching us. SIgh again. I mean, ok, she goes beyond the level of studies and brings it down to a more personal level. I guess she understands what we all are going through, and is probably the teacher who affected me the most this year( in terms of grades and etc.) SOmehow, you can tell when a teacher really is compassionate about her job or not. From the conversation, (which included Mrs Wong, my mum and I ) She said that she 'loved her job too much to want to stay in Perth'. Bet other teachers don't have the desire to stay on because of the love for something.

Yet despite the fact that our class had a horrible reputation, Mrs Wong actually selected to teach our class. FOr that, i guess we owe it to her. Thank you Mrs Wong. WE LOVE YOU <3

End of year woes

So there we go. The end of the very last day of our school year in 2/4 08.It makes me cry just writing about this. WHY? I can't get rid of that heart-wrenching feeling that engulfes me very time I think of what the future may be, what obstacles lie ahead, what challenges we might face. I tried, I REALLY tried to stem the tears which I remember Averil and I just mentioning about the day before, " do you think anyone would cry on the last day, tomorrow?" SIGH. I swore I wouldn't, I shoudn't , I can't cry, but yet I did. I made a list of people I would really miss. NO THEY ARE NOT ALL. But Iam just listng those I've bonded with. Here it is: (in no specific order)

1. Averil( the steadfast, understanding,great councellor,strong-willed:) )
2.Mavis( the sweet, funny, happy,I'll-never-insult-anyone person:) )
3.Shermaine( lollipop-lover,funny, happy-always:) )
4.Estelle( funny, easy-going:) )
5.Chloe(My best neopets buddy! :) )
6.Phyllis(Optimistic, great source of comfort:) )
7.Crystal(Clear as her name suggests, nice, easy-going:) )
8.Stephenie(sweet, understanding:) )

Pls note that I mean well when I write this and don't give me a black eye.

What i remember most about these people:

1.Averil: band, Clarinet, comforter
2.Mavis: haha, Chinese pro, dog-lover
3.Shermaine: AEP, lollipop,guides
4.Estelle: Guides
5.Chloe: Neopets, bowling
6.Phyllis: My p6 friend
7.Crystal: Badminton
8.Stephenie: Red Cross, blog-pro

I can't forget these people. They have played a big role in my life. Not to mention those who annoy me. But Its ok. I forgived you long ago. I remember a song ( sung by Avril Lavigne, My happy ending)

Lets talk this over
its not like we're dead
was it something I did
was it something you said
don't leave me hanging
in a city so dead
held up sp high
on such a breakable thread
you were all I ever thought I knew
and I thought we could be.......

Friends, are just friends, let the good times come.....

It took me some time to start writing something. Its not like I feel like it, but iam feeling subdued. Not that i want to. I was hoping for a holiday better than last year's. but as it turned out, that's not going to be the case. Why is everyone shooting ahead now? Everyone has changed so much, both for the better and the worse. Some used to be so nice, and now they have changed so drastically that should they just wear a mask, I won't even recognise them anymore. Why? I seem to be stuck in this place, like a rat in a trap while all my fellow 'rats' have found a way to escape and have moved on. leaving me, the sad me behind. Thinking about it now, I guess my results were far from ideal. Why do all my close friends do better? Why can't i be up to their level? I don't understand. Next year, will i be so embarassed to meet my friends who are in so much a better class than i am? I can't bear to face the fact that we will all be moving on next year, seemingly to another era. Our relationships which we have so seamlessly sewn together will be ripped apart with such force that we may not even acknowledge each other as friends. I try to think, 'Frens 4 eva!' will remain true to its words, but we all know that friendships may not last and most importantly, FRENS ARE NOT FOREVER!!!!! We must all learn to recognise this. Friends come and go, withour our knowing, we have already lost them.

To top it all, I can only say that I must now face the blatant fact that my results aren't good enough to put me in the same class as my friends this year.

So i can only say this. I hope that this doesnt sound as if Iam losing hope, or if u feel uncomfortable about this, Iam sorry. Averil and Mavis, goodbye friends.

ps. to lighten this message, Iam not going to die. Not yet I hope.

mmmmmmmmfffffffffffffffffffffffffff

Sigh. HAHA ok not a very good way to start. Results are released tmr. Don't frighten me any further by asking any of the teachers how the class did.

Found out we had a new gym comm. today from Sheryl. Yup, a bit late isnt it? I probably wasnt even there for the selection( how do u select anyway?) and a whole new comm is now faced with more responsibilities, people, etc...

Haha ok. I just read Shermaine's blog and she says she wants to 'learn dance'. ok then I'll say. Somehow rhythmic gym appeals to me now. i must be going mad. I don't stick to my CCAs. They're not even related! Ok. lets see...

P1-P2: selected for the rhytmic gym schoolteam. Dunno how I got in. Must be a case of luck. Quit because I did'nt dare to learn the split( which iam trying to now with little success).

P4-P6: Selected for photo and video Society. Met the twins, Xin hui and Xin Ru and Nicolette.

Sec 1: Joined Tramp.Was in school team and didn't know it. So pro right?

Sec2: joined Schoolteam for 2 mths, then quit( don't ask me why)

SIgh....... I learnt this sometime ago but never put it into action: a rolling stone gathers no moss. Should have realised this earlier.