Memoranda

odules, GERPES, UEs, S/Us, etc. It's the first time I'm exposed to such terminologies but within the past 4 days I've learnt one thing - not to underestimate admin work. Because the admin work needed for uni is huge and the adjustments we freshmen need to undergo emotionally and psychologically are definitely no less.

But I have to get used to it, I know. Today marks the start of my first year in NTU. After saying the NTU pledge, wearing that academic gown (?) as odd as it may sound, did it's part in allowing us to feel sort of welcome. Then there were loads of talks, and loads more messages to take away. But one thing remained clear and that was the fact that we needed to balance our time and opportunities. No doubt it's going to be different and difficult. I feel it already. It's a tad bit tiresome to have to keep remaking friends and force myself to be independent where I once could somewhat rely on others. Force myself to adapt, no matter the difficulty, because if others can, why can't I? It's just another phase of life.

But - I'm sure I'm not the only one to admit this, - I hate change. I like the simple comfortable life I used to live, knowing what would happen and having some sort of plan. My job was a good example. Having left it for coming 2 weeks already, I still remember that place fondly, the people (despite whatever may have happened) the things I learnt there. In a way, it was a short getaway from having to worry about uni, but I can't escape forever. Even going to Taiwan after I stopped work was merely a temporary respite.
I'd still have to face uni eventually, no matter how much I dread having to adapt to this new change. But I know myself, I know that I tend to cling onto the last phase I was in and wish it'd last longer. Sometimes when I'm alone, my mind inevitably drifts towards work, towards the counting of those vouchers, to going for lunch with Nigel and Daniel, and to the parts I loved the most, having time to talk to them after lunch and after work. To the times we'd head home together, to the times they'd spend teasing me about being an alien. I can't seem to let that go - not that I want to - and sometimes reliving those memories provides a form of stress relief during this uni adjusting period. I don't know why I do that, but I do it all the same. Maybe it's because I liked the stability of work. Maybe it's because I was happy with the company of friends I had there. Anything.

I'd like thank 2 people though. Chu is one. That goes without saying. For being there for me, for doing all you can despite being stuck in camp and ndp, for trying to understand my situation, for caring about my health and welfare. You're a vital part of my life I can't miss.
The second person is, well, someone who is special to me too. I shan't mention names because I don't want to incur jealousy, but this person has been around a lot for me too. For promising to stay in touch, for promising to try and cheer me up. For being the good god brother I never had. I wish you'd understand that this means a lot to me, because these words don't always come easily for others. As we move on with other parts of life, I hope we remain in touch, and that we remain as close as we are right now. I hope this friendship  makes it through the various life stages. And I hope that I'm not being overly optimistic here as well. It's been great knowing you. I appreciate your little acts of concern much more than you'd imagine. Thank you.

So I guess, time for some heads up, chin up motivation. Uni begins next week.
Let's do this.