Temporal.

Temporary (adj) : Not permanent; not lasting

That's the dictionary meaning. And that's how I'm feeling right now. 

I'm currently stuck in this situation whereby my future is so unknown. Yes I may have made friends in uni, but my gut feeling tells me that something isn't quite right. Like I'm not being myself, and when I actually start being myself, well, things might start to change a little. I remember how this was so very reminiscent of the days when I first started JC. What eventually happened? You know, Julyn, you know. 

This isn't the only thing that I fear, however. It's all the people in my life as well. I'm at this extremely insecure stage of my life right now, and while I don't like it, I don't have a choice but to force myself to like this routine. It's mundane, it's draining, but it's all I have. And with this insecurity brought about by this stage of life, there are many other things I'm fearful of as well. Chu is one. I fear that something will tear us apart. I fear we'll be stretched thin and I fear that someday, we'll just tire of each other. But despite all these fears, this relationship is probably the one thing that defies this whole 'temporary' vibe I'm feeling right now. I hope so, at least. 

And my friends. Those I made in JC, particularly, and those I meet at different phases of my life. What will happen to them? I guess the overly optimistic view would state that ' oh we can all still be friends!', but a more pessimistic (perhaps more realistic) point of view would be ' we will all move on with our lives. ' And the latter makes me sad. But I guess that's something that really cannot be helped, especially while we're all so busy. 

Cheers.