Beowulf.

A couple of days ago, I had to do an analysis on an Anglo-Saxon poem, Beowulf. And if there's something I took away from having to analysize the old English writing of that poem, it's the notion of beauty and what constitutes beauty in that day and age. How Grendel, this vicious condemned fiend was slain by Beowulf, the great warrior who eventually became the king. Midway though, he was bestowed gifts of gold, precious silver and jewellery for the valour and courage he displayed. It's beautiful because those gifts were considered a status symbol- and those gifts also came with the gift of popularity. But what really struck me was how his actions of bravery earned him so much popularity and admiration- so much so that the poem revolves around him and his actions only, praising him of his power and strength so much so we don't ever get to witness Beowulf's flaws. Rarely do we get to see the rest of the population (which also make up the culture of society back then)- the ones whom have fallen by the wayside in pursuit of Beowulf's fame and glory.

I guess that sometimes I feel a little like the 'rest of the population'. The ones who have fallen by the wayside while attention is showered on Beowulf replicas in society. Who are these replicas in society today?  I'll attempt to superimpose an Anglo Saxon society onto today's culture here- The rich, the famous, and the one point that always gets to me- the physically attractive. The pretty, so to speak. Let's face it- I'm your average Singaporean girl who's meekly toed the 12 year line of education- Primary school secondary school, JC, and now in Uni, and I've seen friends who shoot up to fame, who are blogshop models, actors, who write beauty editorials and who live by basking in the limelight. I don't quite want any of this- I personally find that a little demeaning to females sometimes- but there are times where I wonder what it's like to be in the shoes of those who live in the limelight. Whom everyone shower with praises of ' You're pretty', 'you're amazing' and all. Whom companies sponsor to wear their outfits and promote their makeup brands. Whom are the Beowulfs of today. 

Don't get me wrong. I don't seek to model those girls with shape but no substance. I'm proud of the fact that I made it into a uni, I'm happy that I graduated from a JC and that I somehow survived through the fishing nets of the education system. My best friend has told me to be more confident of my looks ( thank you bro). He's asked me why I don't want to believe him. Chu has told me that I'm good. That I'm decent and I'm pretty. But I don't feel it. And sometimes despite everything everyone says, I have to convince myself that I'm good - not have everyone try to convince me. 

I will be leaving me teen years soon. This is my last teen year. And I have to learn to come to terms with the fact that I will see some of my friend showered in the limelight. That some will go on and have fame plastered on their foreheads. That some will live a life of sponsored comfort and luxury. That some will be a Beowulf, with metaphorical jewels and gold bestowed upon them- that's beauty. But then again, beauty comes in various forms. Some will work hard and do well within their own fields of study. Some will encounter success in business. That's beautiful as well. And finally (and personally), I have to do my best in whatever I do, as well as convince myself that I'm good. That essentially, everyone has a Beowulf in them. That warrior that is willing to break forth and fight when the right time comes. 

I'll end on this note then. To my best guy friend, I say thank you for staying by me, and all the best for NS. You've cheered me up a great deal by just being there for me. To my Uni friends I say, thank you for accepting me (for now) for the person I am. And lastly, to Chu, who's been with me for more than a year now, and for putting up with me despite my flaws. 

I love you all, and for showing me that the true Beowulf lies not solely within the Anglo Saxon society, but also within each and every one of us.