Frustration sets in when one cannot reconcile jealousy/envy and pride for another.
That's me in a nutshell, sometimes. No, make that most of the time.
If I were to select the one greatest sin of mine it'd be jealousy.
Especially towards you. I don't understand myself sometimes, but I'm proud of you when you do something great, achieve something, or when others comment that you're intelligent.

I'm proud of you when you know how to read famous novels and classics, yet I'm envious(?) for being unable to have that same love you have, that love that makes you seem oh-sooooo-smart to others. I don't know, but it seems, and I mean seems, that you genuinely enjoy classics and those of that particular genre that make you seem erudite. Because that's something I'm not sure I can feel. Maybe I'm just reading those classics and all because I want to feel on par with you. Maybe it's because I want to be on par with the rest- I don't know. Because if you feel this innate genuine love for such things, well, I'm quite different from you- and glad to be.

I'm envious when others say you're inwardly smart, but at the same time, I'm proud to be with someone who's well thought of. I speak well of you when people praise you, and inwardly there's this sense of subtle pride, yet I can't help wondering if others thought the same, if others think I'm smart/clever enough for you. (but as you like to put it, it's vice versa, but I don't think so)

I'm Nakata. Except that I didn't suffer an unknown incident and neither can I talk to cats. Or am I? I don't even know myself.
This is tiring.