I remember how I started off a countdown to As early on this year. A whole year more to go, I thought.
And suddenly, it's 32 days to As. This isn't even a joke anymore.
I've never felt so much stress. Never.
(I'm on the verge of breaking down as I'm typing this. )
There's ELL, Geog, and Literature, with H1 math.
The very few subjects (with the exception of math) that I was so confident of passing when I first stepped into CJC and donned the light blue uniform. I was carefree, hopeful, and vocal.
How things have changed. I'm downcast, and hope? What hope is there left? I'd actually go as far as saying that only divine intervention would enable me to make it past this As, because as of status quo, I am NOT. GETTING. ANYWHERE.
I remember back in Sec4 when my form teacher told us that we weren't cut out of JC. I believe her now. A tad too late, a vast understatement. I didn't even think it would be that different. Now I'm running to the library to borrow linguistic book after book because that's what I think is going to save me. Written, spoken, multimodal texts. Significant linguistic features. Grammer, cohesion, morphology. Discourse managing strategies, non-fluency features. Paper 2- debates with regard to the English language. Is it possible to have English as a global language? How will that affect the linguistic diversity both between varieties of the English Language and between different languages? Will they converge or diverge? How about the internet, and the convergence towards using a specific variety of the English language as a lingua franca? New Englishes, Standard English ( Std American English) and it's non-standard variety (Ebonics or 'Black African American English?)What are the features of these varieties of the English Language in terms of lexis, syntax, grammar and discourse?
Confused yet? Yeah. That's only a drop in the ocean. I'm having a splitting headache now.
To all my poly friends, you might see me in poly next year. Beginning the year as a freshie.
OKAY NO JULYN NO. DO NOT THINK OF ALTERNATIVES NOW. IT IS ABSOLUTELY CRUCIAL YOU DON'T.
I feel like snapping. I'm snapping almost every single night on the phone while talking to him. And he's in NS now. Doubly worse that he can't be physically here with me. But I know I'll pull through. Perhaps I'd say that this relationship was the best thing that happened this year. Poor him, though. I feel bad having to put him through comforting me almost every night because of this emotional rut I'm stuck in.
I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown, with all the teachers and all the consultations I have in line, plus the mock exams. I'm sounding terribly whiny now but I can't help it.
I want to cry, I want to turn my back on all this examinations and shit and lie back and watch the clouds.
But I can't. I got to keep moving forward. Keep pushing.
Time to head back to doing my Geog essay. Propeties of limestone rocks and it's vulnerability to weathering, here I come.
And suddenly, it's 32 days to As. This isn't even a joke anymore.
I've never felt so much stress. Never.
(I'm on the verge of breaking down as I'm typing this. )
There's ELL, Geog, and Literature, with H1 math.
The very few subjects (with the exception of math) that I was so confident of passing when I first stepped into CJC and donned the light blue uniform. I was carefree, hopeful, and vocal.
How things have changed. I'm downcast, and hope? What hope is there left? I'd actually go as far as saying that only divine intervention would enable me to make it past this As, because as of status quo, I am NOT. GETTING. ANYWHERE.
I remember back in Sec4 when my form teacher told us that we weren't cut out of JC. I believe her now. A tad too late, a vast understatement. I didn't even think it would be that different. Now I'm running to the library to borrow linguistic book after book because that's what I think is going to save me. Written, spoken, multimodal texts. Significant linguistic features. Grammer, cohesion, morphology. Discourse managing strategies, non-fluency features. Paper 2- debates with regard to the English language. Is it possible to have English as a global language? How will that affect the linguistic diversity both between varieties of the English Language and between different languages? Will they converge or diverge? How about the internet, and the convergence towards using a specific variety of the English language as a lingua franca? New Englishes, Standard English ( Std American English) and it's non-standard variety (Ebonics or 'Black African American English?)What are the features of these varieties of the English Language in terms of lexis, syntax, grammar and discourse?
Confused yet? Yeah. That's only a drop in the ocean. I'm having a splitting headache now.
To all my poly friends, you might see me in poly next year. Beginning the year as a freshie.
OKAY NO JULYN NO. DO NOT THINK OF ALTERNATIVES NOW. IT IS ABSOLUTELY CRUCIAL YOU DON'T.
I feel like snapping. I'm snapping almost every single night on the phone while talking to him. And he's in NS now. Doubly worse that he can't be physically here with me. But I know I'll pull through. Perhaps I'd say that this relationship was the best thing that happened this year. Poor him, though. I feel bad having to put him through comforting me almost every night because of this emotional rut I'm stuck in.
I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown, with all the teachers and all the consultations I have in line, plus the mock exams. I'm sounding terribly whiny now but I can't help it.
I want to cry, I want to turn my back on all this examinations and shit and lie back and watch the clouds.
But I can't. I got to keep moving forward. Keep pushing.
Time to head back to doing my Geog essay. Propeties of limestone rocks and it's vulnerability to weathering, here I come.
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