Sometimes, I forget. I forget and I think that I'm different, that I'm special from the others. But things like that sometimes... make me remember that no matter what, I don't play a special role. And that any attempt at feeling inflated is well, proving to be my greatest downfall.

I shan't say too much, but perhaps this sense of mixed regret/hurt/embarassment/sadness for something I had hoped would be true helps me to grasp reality, I guess. At the end of the day, that's who I am. Normal. Ordinary. Unsuspecting. Just like everyone else who's been before me and whom will come after me.

I can't deny that I'm hurt. That I'm crushed. But I'm thankful. I'm thankful for being able to understand that that's how the real world works. Thank you, Reality, for slamming me to the ground in the hardest, most painful way possible. Thank you, for allowing me to understand that my emotions were just one large daydream. That no matter how much the dirt of the ground aspires to be something more, that she's essentially just a replaceable individual.

I'm such a bloody idealist. Or wait, I don't even know if I did anything wrong. I don't know anything. Screw this shit la. I feel like just breaking apart sometimes thinking about this.

One day more. Please, just one more day.