Okay, another poem.

I cant get over it, not at all , cos I STILL MISS MY BUDDY and ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE I MET IN RP, as well as RP ITSELF. Haha, I've gotten over my embarassement so to all of you, SAYONARA AND I LOVE ALL OF YOU! :D



* I think iam high on too much sugar*



Speaking of which, I have another poem for you all,yes I know all my poems are about love or something to that extent, but without that the poems will never have an impact okay...



I want to say so many things,
The things we take for granted.
But many a time the hope that remained
Was ever, always transplanted.



Those dreams I thought were just so true
Were broken just like that,
Without any grace, without a trace
The hope we once both shared.



I know you said you love me,
But that is just a dream.
For I know that your heart has always been
A little more extreme.


I hope to see you again some day
I hope it wont be long
Cos the pain I feel when I miss you
Will forever be as strong :)



Btw, Iam not some poem nut. I just like writing- sometimes these poems dont make no sense to me neither. But it may to soemone out there :)

Gosh. My internet connection is screwed up. Keep disconnecting every minute-Iam serious. Like now. Hang on.

Back. I gotta thank Hui Loon, Jolin, Andre, Shermaine, Bao Yi, Michele and all those who've been keeping my blog alive. No bad huh. Least my blog got followers now :D

Now that job attachment's over, yes, I still miss my buddy!!! D': Kept crying last night cos all of a sudden I was hit by this desire to see my buddy Hui loon and her friend Jolin again. IDK why. I just gotta control myself better. Something better not be wrong with me.

I have to get down to doing my work. Sure I completed a lot during the attachment itself, but there's still THAT much to learn, to revise. And hell, my CIP hours arent even enough also, determined to do some this hols >:)

AEP is some crap also now. The teacher gave us so much do one my sketchbook cant even fit everything in. I had to screw up the order (she wont be happy about that) of the drawings, and its STILL NOT ENOUGH. WTH. Pissed away...
I have to run tonight. Iam SO HAPPY! (not) Been screaming everything I need into my pillow. Why is it only my pillow that sees my silent tears? I dunno how many buckets of tears I have to invest before I stop worrying about stuff, my O's esp next year.

Omgg. I stopped short. Crap. CRAP. CRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPP I THINK MY DAD DELETED MY GAME!!!!!!! OH FREAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!

I miss you.

Dedicated to Hui Loon and Jolin, who buddi-ed me throughout those 5 days:)

We started off as strangers,
Unknown to me and you
but the smile you gave when 1st saw me
is warm and always true.

Through all those days of buddying
We see each other's character.
I promise I will never forget.
The days filled with our laughter.

I wonder if its fate that made
the two of us as friends.
That made two people awesome buddies
Not just a game of pretend.

I hope you know all we've been through
is what I'll never regret
Because the bonds that we both share
is what I'll never forget.

I hope you'll always remember me :)
Not ever far apart.
Beacuse I hope that I have left
Some footprints in your heart :)

I'm glad you helped me just so much,

For that Iam ever grateful

For if you didnt Iam sure my life

Would be ever so much more painful.:)

Hui loon and I:)
btw, that hand is mine.
















Me, Jolin, Hui Loon:) All my jie jie's.






























(left to right) Me, Jolin, Hui loon:) Somehow we bear some uncanny resemblance:)







































~ Yes, I still miss you, even if you don't think of me anymore.

I Miss My Buddy.
Suddenly, everything's died down. The excitement, the wonder, the splendor of a job attachment is gone. I cant believe its all over so quickly. Seems like monday was just yesterday, and that the end was long, long time away. Yes, time flies like an arrow and fruit flies like a banana. But I dont want it to end so quickly. Well, all good things must come to an end, cliche as it sounds.

Today marks the end of my job attachment and the last time iam gonna see my buddy D; *sob* Spend the 1st hour in the spa room, then one of the facillitators pulled us(beverly natasha and I) in for a talk. Dispersed soon after, and found our classes in the E54 block (yay I rmbed the name! ):D . Sat with the class till about, erm, 11.30, then had lunch. Before that, we took a class photo shot which my buddy has yet to upload on fb.

Fish and Chips with my buddy and her friend, Jolin, for lunch. Went back up to the room, where for some reason or another, this guy started playing Hotel 626. There was this.. stage? where 'he' entered a room and saw a baby in a cradle. According to the game, 'he' was supposed to sing to the baby to avoid it waking up. As thought, the baby DID wake up. I was just glad all of us were squashed into one big heap. Yes, we screamed. Then I covered my eyes and slumped again the wall.
Spent the rest of the day sitting in class and tried my utmost to comprehend what the facillitator was on about. Had to leave at 2.45 for a reception:( Sad right. Gave my buddy a hug before I left. Aish. Wanna cry but i couldnt go for the reception with red eyes. Is it an IJ tradition? Idk.

JOb.

Job attachment. Its kinda fun I guess. Yea I know many people dont think that way but I admire, respect and look up to my buddy(ies) who have treated me so well these, 2 days. Without them my job would be HELL, boring. Having them to talk to makes things much more lively, as well as someone to talk to and hang out during lunch break cos for some obscure reason all my friends have disappeared.

I learnt to put behind my painful past and instead look towards a brighter future. Yes, those painful memories, its not their fault that they brought up the subject of my being bullied like shitz in sec 1. I know they're trying to care, to tell me that I shouldnt bother about all these people, but how? Its not so easy.

Had job attachment today. Okay will elaborate more on it when I have time okay. Very tired now so I shall only blog about my dentist appointment.

Went dentist with Bao Yi today!:D Was late for my 7 o clock appointment cos there was a massive traffic jam. REached there, met Bao yi, went inside the clinic. waited for a long long long time. Bao yI went in earlier than me and came out even before I went in. So when I was called, Baoyi and I went in together.

DL ( Dr Loh) : Hi Julyn :) (looks at Bao) You ah, keeping biting your bridge out, dun wanna talk to you.
DL: You know Grace put braces right?
Me: YA OMG SHE LOOKS SO CUTE!!
DL: Ya she put fast braces.
Me: (lies down)
(bao Yi stands in a corner)
Me: DR Loh can u check to see if anything went wrong with my braces this time, my parrot attacked me.
DL: Your what?! Parrot or Parents?
ME: Parrot.
DL: You have a parrot?
ME: Yea.
DL: OHhh aiyo what were you trying to do to it?
ME: I was trying to kiss it
DL: (chokes)
Me: YEa, I know....
DL: You not scared of bird flu ah?
Me: Haha no la..
DL: Birds got no vaccine you know?
Me: yea yea hahah
(gasps as she forces rubber band, this time a conjoining one, onto bracket)
DL: Aiyo pain ahh..
ME : (gasp gasp)
DL : Aiyo..
Me: Thinks (this hurts me to death man)
DL: Bite, julyn.
ME:(bites)
DL: WOA! So straight already!
Me: mmmmmmmmmmmmpppppfffffffffffffffffff
DL: Which was the crooked tooth last time?
Me: (points to 2 teeth beside 2 front teeth)
DL: HUH? I dont remember leh! (to helper) I think Iam having memory loss.
ME: HAHA.
DL: Is this julyn? (to helper)
DL: Is this julyn or not?! (to baoyi)
BAoyi: (Nodds)
(chair is lifted upwards)
Me: (sits up and wipes eyes)
DL: (turns around in shock, momentarily stunned)
DL: You okay right? (pats shoulder) its just 4 weeks la dont miss me!
Me: ... (takes bag)
DL: Really okay?
Me: (nodds)
DL: Okay then, (flying kiss and salute) Zai Jian!
Me: Bye and thank you!

HAHA. Job attachment later okay. I wanna sleeppp. TMr got more work to do.Bye..

Sway day.

LAst day of school. Went to shermaine's house as she wanted to bathe, then trained to Michele's house to cange. Went to Bishan Park from there. Rented a bike for a supposed 1 hour. Then rode for <15 mins, then got an acute attack of cramps. Like WTH, of all times. I couldnt move, my vision was blurred, my fingers were numb. Its scaring me. Honestly. Apart from wasting the money, I cant help wondering if Iam down with some sickness iam unaware of. Yes, jie jie Sarah, ur right. I should see a doctor. Then it rained heavily on the way home. My crumpler's wet through. I dunno. Super messed up.

My Results suck.

Went to East Coast Park today with Bao Yi. Supposedly supposed to meet Bao yi at Yio Chu Kang MRT station at 10, but it got pushed to 11am. Then we decided the meet at Ang Mo kio station instead. Took a train down to TPY interchange, where we waited for bus no. 31, due east and the stop we were supposed to alight at- opposite the Marine Parade shopping centre. Walked into the centre and headed striaght for the information counter because we didnt know the way to East Coast. According to the lady, she told us to walk straight past NTUC and head for the underpass. We did so. The underpass was really dark and dingy. Its not wonder people can get raped then. We just walked faster.

Came out of the underpass and we were already at the walkway towards the park. Walked a short distance, taking photos along the way, then saw the beach and the sea. Found the bicycle kiosk and rented 2 single bikes. I havent cycled in 8 yrs so its nice of Bao Yi to wait for me to BEGIN warming myself up to the bike.
Peddled a short distance, stopped. Bao Yi stopped with me. AFter lots of stops and starts, we continued riding. Was I shaky? YES.To show you the magnitude to which I was shaking, ( I'd probably make a 8.9 on the richter scale ) I looked like I have having spasms.

After a while, the bicycle seat got really hard and painful. Since the bike seat we got was suited for the male anatomy, we were having a really painful and hard time, wincing everytime we went over a hump in the road. I nearly hit a few people, but it was miraculous that I didnt fall:D

Rode my bike onto the grass patch and very nearly fell. I remember Dr Maha once asking us what we saw as we cycled. Well I can say frankly that I saw the road, because if I didnt I'd crash .

WEnt along to macs halfway and we parked our bikes outside. Bao Yi ate a happy meal, while I ate the double cheeseburger meal. we were in there when we saw Mr chan, our PE teacher.=/ Of all places.Isnt it a small world?

SO thirsty that we bought a double choc Frappe after. Cycling under the afternoon sun sure is hot alright.Walked over to the bowling alley were we intended to bowl, but then found the place a bit too dark for our liking, honestly it looks a bit more like a club than a bowling alley. We didnt bowl.

WAlked back to Parkway Parade, took bus no. 135 for a whole HOUR. Reached AMk station, and Bao yI accompanied me back to YCK! She so nice right?! :DD 谢谢.
你知道我爱你. left at the junction of YCK Mrt, near my bus depot.

While Cycling!

More photos anothre day k. My stye just erupter and its hurting me to death.

Poem

Okay. Since I owe chloroPHYLL a poem....



Can you hear the birds chirping in the skies,
Singing to the tunes of Phyll's lullaby?
Can you feel the rain falling ever so gently
Atuned to the sounds of the guitar so intently?



Another thing, i must precide
Is the way her fingers hop and slide.
Can you feel its lack of pain
Dancing, jumping to the sound of the rain?

In many ways, she is a mum
However she also makes a wonderful chum.
A caring person is what she is,
that makes share time with her awfully bliss:)

Thanks to Bao Yi for providing me with the relevant information about Phyll. I sound like a spy =/

THANKS B CUP BAO YI I LOVE YOU <3 <3

BAO YI, I LOVE YOU THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
MUCH!!! THANK YOUUUUUUU <3>

Watch this. Penguins can Flyyyy!!

Yes! Exams are over! I've never felt so much joy in my life, nor ever will again! :D:D Sher and Mich's gone for a chalet, so Iam left alone again D; Nevermind, Bao Yi is a great companion:D So HIGH ALL OF A SUDDEN!! I FEEL LIKE HUGGING MICH AND BAO YI AND SHERMAINE NOW HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! WE HAVE LIVED THROUGH EXAMS!!!! :D :D:D

Iam dead hungry. Urgh... oh ya. I better blog about Mich's birthday 1st.
Went to school early early to sit for our last paper, the Chem paper. Michele had to go sit for a survey, so Shermaine and I and Jia Wen went to TPY interchange 1st to buy the cake (unknown to her) of her birthday.Mich was coming along to TPY at that point in time, so I( NO choice okay!) stuffed the cake into my crumpler bag, while I gave my jacket and pencil case to Shermaine to put in her bag. I had a cold cold back for the rest of the journey. Trooped to KFC later on for breakfast when Mich joined us. Sat down, and leaned back(mistake no.1) Felt the plastic box CRUNCH. Knew it was a mistake. Tried not to look too worried. Ate an American Wrap or something. Sat there for a while, then Estelle came and joined us. She started talking about some sleepover. Soon, Jia Wen and I felt like extras cos only Mich, Sher and Estelle were talking. So we went on to Guardian, which was next door. There was a white benchtop on the outside. I placed my crumpler there and opened my bag. Reached in a took out a squashed cake. A BADLY squashed cake. Thought we heard Mich and Sher coming out of KFC, so I squashed the cake back into my bag (mistake no. 2)Jia Wen started laughing. Then we went into guardian, and looked at the pregnancy kits, baby thermometers, anything to kill time.

Shortly, Mich and Sher came out of KFC and into Guardian. We walked to the interchange, where we said bye to Jia wen as Mich and Sher were coming to my house. Sat down at the stone marble benches and heard the cake inside my bag crumble again. By this time, Mich was getting mighty suspicious. So Sher let her in on the secret a bit, without revealing to her that a cake had been bought.The journey there was uneventful.

Upon reaching my house, I quickly grabbed the cake and placed it in the already full to bursting frige. (mistake no.3) I squashed the cake in as Mich was coming into the kitchen. Then shouted to Mich and Sher to go upstairs. Joined them soon after. Took a bath, then returned to my room, where the air con was on. Mich and Sher were watching some Korean show on the PSP which mich brought. Later, Mich started playing some 3D game, while sher and I campwhored. Out of the photos we took, only one survived Sher and my rating.

Wasted time playing offline games, then went down to the park. Played at the park for some time on the swings, where we campwhored to the max and took self initiated shots. Lots of unglam photos were also taken. One included Sher opening her coffeeshop( okay, not REALLY okay) and Mich's butt.

Bought a cup of Korean noodles at the minimart near my house, as well as a tub of ice cream. Went home and ate the korean noodles the unglam way. (slurping it up from a self made cup fashioned out of the cup noodle cover). Then all of us dug into (literally) the ice cream. Sher messaged me under the table to bring out the cake. I went into the kitchen, realised that there was 2 bags of things in the fringe. I remembered the cake was in a bag, so I opened the 1st bag and intended to bring it out. Then realised it was a bag of bean sprouts. Wasted precious time. Grabbed the squashed cake out of the fringe (minus the bag) and brought it into the dining room with a'happy birthday!' I'll never forget the look on Mich's face. The cake was squshed, badly squshed, with a portion sunk in. Urgh.
Took lots of videos of Mich and her cake. We lighted the cake, sang a happy birthday with it recorded on tape, then realised that the cake had only 14 candles. Sheepishly put another candle on it, relighted the cake. Then mich blew out the cake in my face, smoke and all. If I get lung cancer you know why.

Ate the cake. Mich took a LARGE portion. Then let her bring home the rest of the cake. We came back upstairs, and pretended we were DJs and sarted singing to the karaoke. I think we were drunk. Drunk on cake and ice cream more like. Said bye to my parents, then Mich and sher left. Had to do most of the cleaning up of my room after that.

Blessed Birthday Michele!

I HATE EXAMS TO THE MAX!! I HATE A MATH AND I HATE CHEM. I HATE SOVA. WHY SHOULD WE HAVE END OF YEAR EXAMS! WE SHOULD BE HAVING END OF YEAR PARTY>.<>

God give me the strength to perform to the best of my ability
Even though some questions just show no mercy.
Give me the heart to do my best
And Iam sure that you'll me with the rest. Amen.

Hey! I know I shouldnt be online. But I better post my convo with my orthodontist in case it runs out of my mind:)

Dr Loh (DL) : Ju Lyn! You're next!
Me( gets up and walks in)
Dr Loh: Hello! How're you?
Me: Fine:)
DL: I saw your cousin the other day!
Me: thinks' I have only one cousin and her teeth are perfect!'
DL:Ohh sorry I mean your class mate.
Me: Ohhhh. yea. Grace is it?
DL: yes!
Me: Ohh haha yea she told me what happened to her even if you didnt! *smirks*
DL: Ahh what did she tell you?
Me: She told me that her teeth were 3 cm to the right and that she needed to extract2!
DL: Ya... ( a beat) MILLIMETRES LA!!!
Me: OH ya!! Oops! Not cm srry, mm!
DL: Goodness! 3 cm and I wont even know how to start correcting it!!
Me: (laughs)
DL: come come I better show you.. ( turns around and grabs a steel ruler and brings her thumb up to the 3cm mark)
DL: That's 3 cm! And Grace's mouth is going to be all twisted like this... (makes a funny face)
DL: Her teeth will be out of her mouth! ( another beat) does she really look lopsided to you?
Me: NO...
DL: Haha then??
Me: Can you help me put my phone on the table there pls?
DL:(takes phone from me)
Me(lies down)
DL: (reaches of mirror)
Me: (starts trembling)
DL: Why you fa dou? ( chinese word for shaking)
Me: THis is gonna hurt me to death man..
DL: Wont la! Trust me!(reaches into mouth with mirror again)
DL: I may have good news for you you know!
Me: thinks,Oh yea?
DL: MAYbe, MAYBE, MAYBE! If all goes well, then next year january or febuary you can take you already!
DL : No response?
Me: Oh.
DL: OHhh?
ME : ... ( too painful to speak)
DL : (to her assistant) I think this isnt julyn, its probably julyn's evil twin sister.. julan or julian or something..
Me: thinks, (thanks for disfiguring my name)
( Joyce ( the receptionist), Dr Yap( another dentist) walks in)
Me: Thinks, ' so many ppl'
DL: (to assistant) has julyn chosen her colour?
Assistant: Yep. Pink and purple
DL: AHhh..
DL: So bright
DL: (to assistant) can you pls give me the black wire?
me: thinks,' black wire?!'
DL: (turns around to bend wire)( A beat, 3 mins wait as I sit there doing nothing)
Joyce: Whoa pink ah..
ME: yup, because its not so obvious.
All together (DR Loh, who has now finished her bending, Dr Yap and Joyce and the now Dr Yong who just walked in) : HUH?!!!
Me: (alarmed by all the noise) Ya what..
Dr loh: Pink is obvious! Blue isnt! that what we've all thought?!
Joyce: Pink is obvious! Haha Julyn you colour blind ah?
Me: Hopefully not la:)
Dr Loh: (laughes)
Joyce: Eh!! HEr (me) mentos sweet handphone keychain so cute!
Dr Loh: (looks at it) :Ohya! SO real! CAn we eat it?
ME: You'll be eating cardboard then.
(all start laughing)
Dr Loh: Open up, Iam going to cut off the excess wire
( a snap sound as wire is broken)
Dr Loh: (places a pink rubber band onto bracket and accidently breaks it)
Dr LOh (to assistant): ANother pink band pls
DR LOh: ( to me) Pinkie!
ME: ???
Dr loh: DOne!
ME: (too shaken to speak)
Dr LOh: Julyn, ni bu yao zou!
Me: Sha hen daaaaaa!!
Dr LOh: ???!!!
Me: Nothing *grins*
Dr Loh: Oaky you're okay right? Dont turn blue on me! (grabs my arm and shakes it hard)
Me: Oaky Oaky, iam here:)
Dr Loh: Good! See you in 4 weeks time!
Me: Btw, dr loh, how do you floss teeth with braces?
Dr Loh: Use the floss threader?! you dont have?!!
ME: what's that??
Dr loh( pretends to slam onto table with shock): After 4 months you tell me that?!
Me: i use a toothpick
dr Loh: (standing up) DONT USE TOOTHPICK!
ME: OKAy oaky!
(walks out saying thank you)
Outide...


( 10 mins wait for my dad)
dad walks in.

Me: Hey.
Dad: (goes to counter, gives credit card)
( a beat)
Dad (waves to dr loh whos inside the room)
Dr Loh walks out.
DL: Hello!
DAd: hi.
Me: Dr my wires are BLACK??
DL: Oh ya that's because its been heat treated.not by me, by elsewhere, then its harder this way.
Me: Ohh haha okay oaky :)
(Dr Yong, Dr Yap, Dr Heng walks out. Joyce is processing the card)
DL: So how, you looking forward to getting your braces off?
ME: Not quite. Iam going to miss you also D;
(everyone laughes)
Joyce is done with the credit card.
JOyce: here's your card, have a nice day!
Dr LOh: See you! Goodbye!
Me: Bye!
Walks out.


OMG. DR loh is super cute I promise. And to think I'll have another 3 more months left if all goes well. Sigh.

I just flipped through my SS book. Flipped through, mind you. Stopped at this picture of a army uniform. Is this what SS is about? Studying army suits? Studying the life of army guys? I dont see any link to SS as a subject at all. Seems like we know where the term 'army green' comes from now then.

Its exactly one week to EOYs. Sweating it? urghhh

Okay. Dentist visit again on Monday. Don't you look forward to those funny convos? Haha. I do. :D
Okay. Here's what I plan to do:
Study (though I dont think I can)
AEP (choose my theme and do sketches)

Sometimes I just wanna burst. I cant take this, stress much, stress little, goodness, stressing myself hard through all these things are just going overboard. Was just talking to my cousin about my mental breakdown just yesterday night. Panicked and panicked cos I couldnt do my math. Aish. I wish, I wish I wish I had a older brother/sister to help me.

For Bao Yi

Dedicated To Bao Yi:D

Its great to have you around for me
When troubles showed us no mercy
Where frienship problems and the like of slapsticks
Came down on us like a ton of bricks.

Its great to have you around when I
Always seem to end in a cry.
Where things just fade and night turned to day
When all was lost in the midst of the fray.

Time and again I turn and see
A withering look, a look of plea.
When love was lost and our battle was won
Hearts were broken ,so many were gone.

But still you remain, a stout soldier
Though the world has left, we're no longer juniors.
And when the time comes, to say goodbye
We'll know that our hearts will never die.

I missed one of the few chances to do CIP. THANKS PING EN D; Aish. Nevermind. I'll be dead meat if I cant make the 100 hour mark by next year.

Speaking of which, 2 posts before this I mentioned what it may be like to kiss a guy. And of which Shibin had, HAD to see it, I guess it must be really awkward, I mean?!!

Michele's convo name mentioned something about kissing from a song, so that started the talk. Here it is:

☃JuLyn♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ        says:
*hhahaha
*aww man sad
*my blog post was all about me wondering what guys taste like
*i mean
*omg that sounded so freaking wrong
*i mean, what its like to kiss guy
   


Michele Elena ; caught by the taste of your kiss says:
*you're thinking wrong
*why is it sad?


ME: *its sad cos i though
*thought*
*u'd have to exp and then be able to tell me about it
  

 Michele        Elena     ; caught by the taste of your kiss says:
*lol
*exp it yourself then
     

 ☃JuLyn♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ        says:
*no one to exp with sadly
  

 Michele        Elena     ; caught by the taste of your kiss says:
*lol not no one, but not yet.
*and a first kiss isnt just a kiss from a guy to a girl
      

☃JuLyn♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ        says:
*haha
*really?
*then what is it?
  

 Michele Elena     ; caught by the taste of your kiss says:
*LOL. more profoundly, it means like your true feelings. I MEAN YOU DONT JUST GIVE IT AWAY TO A GUY RIGHT?
      

☃JuLyn♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ        says:
*That's not quite a kiss what
*i thought that's more like. s**
  

 Michele Elena     ; caught by the taste of your kiss says:
*huh FIRST KISS LE
*LEH*
*you think what
*you kiss the guy but the guy doesnt know you like him?
*RIGHT.
      

☃JuLyn♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ        says:
*..
   

Michele        Elena     ; caught by the taste of your kiss says:
*it doesnt mean that you have sex with him then he will know you like him what
      


☃JuLyn♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ        says:
*gosh u sound so fierce
*yea thats true also
  


 Michele        Elena     ; caught by the taste of your kiss says:
*right? i make sense :D
      

☃JuLyn♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ        says:
*haha yea i gues...
*I wonder if it'll come across that way should kissing ever occur
*we think one way, the guy another haha



MIchele asked me not to put this up. But its interesting how different people have different views. So yes, Iam putting it up. I hope michele doesnt give me a black eye tmr.

Just realised that that poem on Shermaine was my 300th post.I cant seem to crank out another poem right now, though I want to, have to, wish to. Alright. I have poems to write about people alright. Here's who I have to write bout:

Mich
Bao Yi aka B cup
Shermaine(done)
All these people deserve really good poems, poems I shouldnt be writing about when Iam half asleep.But I'll write it.
No one else.
Haiz.But wait. I do have something to say about some particular person I know.

You think you're so smart
You think you're a headstart
But no you've got no special key
Different from you and me.

Then you say " I can!"
We'll just say," I dont give a damn!"
One day you'll find yourself stripped of friends
Then you'll know you've reached the end.

Sometimes you act so nice
So I'll help you, but at a price
Let me give you this piece of advice,
You're acting no different from mice.

I dont care much about you
But I care enough to undo
All the stuff you said of me
Before time's even due.

So I hope you'll understand
Why I treat you secondhand
I hope you dont misunderstand
My words as grains of sand.

Thus ends this 'beautiful' poem of you
I must say that its very true
All those things you thought are untrue.
But now you know
Its not for show
That you're just awfully psycho.

HAhas. Bao Yi and I discussing what its like to kiss a guy. After seeing the ridiculous quiz on my facebook, sometimes, I really do wonder. Bao Yi thinks its like marshmellows, I think of cloth (mainly cos I was too tired and hit the pillow Iam hugging and kissed it) =/ Yea. Cloth. No la. I belive its something soft and sweet, perhaps going to be a wash of love among other sepia coloured recollections..

I have a friend, her name is Shermaine
She rants about BBT and is such a pain
No Iam not serious,there is indeed a gain
I learnt about Shermaine's obsession and that she's so vain(joking)
And Michele says, "you can say that again!"

You'll hear her before you see her
She's the noisiest person I know.
At anytime, its not uncommon just to hear her slur.
In all honesty, I must say, She's just a super despo.


But sometimes, though I have to admit,
She can be quite the apposite.
Where she says," I'll give you la"
You know you can next time just steal her car.
She's generous and acts like some grandpapa
With her stomping footsteps she can shake anything ajar.


This poem is dedicated to shermaine, who asked me to create a poem about her

My best friend, the bully


We once met, a long time ago
Where Good times last
And friendships grow
Before I knew it,
You knew me
And you then showed me
No mercy.

When I begged you to stop
You laugh and say,
" That's cos Iam more pop! "
And continued your horendous doings
like lifting skirts
And taking belongings

And suddenly one day
Your actions are found childish
And suddenly, Iam no longer bullied
By you.

I could just be so mean to you,
Just like you were to me.
But the memory of that pain
Holds back any revenge I planned
Instead, I feel much stronger
By offering you a hand.




~Its true. Memories of Sec 1.

Blessed Birthday Shermaine:)
Okay. Now my post shall take on a sadder note. I dont feel like smiling at all. In fact I feel like crying and screaming, "WHYYYY?!!! "


Sometimes, I dunno what to say, or to do with it at all. I know I shouldnt be feeling this way, but it makes me feel so jealous, like, why, I treat you well and love you and everything, and you treat someone else better. I've always thought you were closer to me. Well, seems like I just have to change my perception of things now. Iam disappointed. Awfully disappointed, sad, shocked, cheated.
I know you cared about me much when I was sick. Thanks so very much. And thanks for all that support. I still love you:)


I know I act happy. But Iam really broken up inside.

Another song.

Does this mean its trust?
I see you standing before me,
I loved you not to lust.
Then I told you all about it
It didnt hurt you a bit
You broke that promise to me
And ripped my heart of mercy..

Could this be trust?
Could we ever belong?
Could we take this time and make it real
Before its way to late...

Where is the trust?
Where is the love?
Can we see it all above?
Where is the hope?
Where is the life?
When we see troubles jump and skive....

I can always remember it,
Cos its just too hard to forget
But it makes me really regret
For those times I wished you were gone
That I'll never have see another lover..
But I see you standing before me
Does this mean its over?

Where is the trust?
Where is the love?
Can we see it all above?
Where is the hope?
Where is the life?
When we see troubles jump and skive....

Yes I'd say, you'd left me once before
But I know you never meant it yet to be..
So I say now, I'd never hated you, though I once did, to the core.
I hope that it solves issues,
Its really messed up too.
So lets begin, again
So let there be no more fight
Its wonderous, its fabulous..
because I just wanna be with you tonight!




Oaky. I sound emo. But I guess this could be made into a song also haha:)

Thanks for... A poetry of gratitude

Thanks for always being there,
When others turned away,
Thanks for remaining by my side
When others failed to care.

Thanks for the good times we shared
And memories ever true
When life's struggles tear apart
Its nice to know I'll have you.

Thanks for giving me your support
When life shows no mercy
When tides turn and there you are,
Awaiting, just for me.

Iam sorry for the times I've said
Things that hurt you deep,
Now I know, how hard you tried
To hold my hand and not weep.

Thanks for coming into my life
Like an angel from the heavens
Where none, not one, has bothered,
And where life and death burns.

Thanks for giving me the strength to say,
Though the words may make me blue,
I just want to say, before its too late,
That you're great, I love you:)



~ Thanks for coming into my life:)
Thanks, all of you, for showing support when I was sick:)

Fever today. Didnt go to school. Let me see what i did today okay?
Woke up at 5.50. Super giddy. Walked like a drunkard into my toilet, rinsed mouth.

Went downstairs, ate an egg, then ate half a sausage bun. My mum came downstairs, saw that I had no appetite, asked me if I was well enough to go sch.

Went upstairs, climbed up 1 flight of steps, then suddenly blacked out. Woke up, was on the bed.

My mum said that she called the bus driver, saying I couldnt go to sch. Ate a panadol, then went to slp.

Woke up at 8. Drunkardly walked into the toilet to rinse mouth again.Then went back to sleep.

Woke up at 10. Went into my study room, sat there, stoned, stared at the clock. Opened my math textbook.

Tried to do math. Wrote 'textbk pg 142, Ex 6d' And couldnt write anymore.

WEnt back to bed. Woke up in time to see my mum come home from teaching. No appetite to eat porridge, but ate anyway, cos home remedies cant be eaten on an empty stomach.

It was 3 then. Went back to bed.

Woke up at 5. Mum was staring in my face, wondering if I was okay.

7pm. Woke up, ate some hor fun, went to the doctor, who prescribed anitbiotics, cough syrup, fever medication, sore throat med.

Came home, ate them. THen bathed. IN COLD WATER.

turned on com. damn dizzy now. and nauseas.

Fever. Should I go sch tmr?

Hate this. I have to study, I want to study, I just CANT GET DOWN TO STUDY!! Forget it. I shant.

Geog LORMS havent been done.
SOVA is still uncompleted.

What kind of organised person am I...

Wow. Blogger is finally working man. So now I can see all my icons and can upload photos. But really. Iam lazy to upload. Let see..

Had English Oral today. Was the timekeeper for reg no.s 7 - 19 and 20- 31. My tester was super lienient! :D PS: I know Iam lucky to get him as my tester. I want to say what happened in the pic, but in case the teachers dont wanna change the pic, Iam not blogging about it. To cut a long story short, he said that my pronunciation and articulation of words was good:D and its super surprising considered the fact that I thought I'd slur (okay, yea I did.. a bit) with braces and all ( i bit my tongue halfway and my lips were hooked up the metal bracket) it turned out fairly okay I should think. My next hurdle? The chinese Oral exam- tomorrow. Wish me luck.

I know. I love you guys, friends. Yes, my friends. Not acquaintences- friends. For now i see how important they are, and what they mean to me.

You. You're different from me. Only an acquaitence. But we both have a different set of friends. And sometimes, I think, That's the only reason why you and I cant be.

Talking to Phyllis online and on the phone now. We're supposed to be doing amath, but iam digressing. SHHH ! chloroPHYLL will kill if she finds out.

Fate.

Sometimes, I do wonder if it all boils down to fate. What fate gives us, what we have to accpet simply because ' its fated to be so'. Then again, what really is fate all about? Is it simple the meeting of new faces, of new friends? What can we classify as fate? We often say," Oh, we're fated to meet". Just imagine. Had I not gone to IJ, my home away from home, would I meet my friends? Would I meet Shermaine, my craziest-to-be friend? And Michele, my ever-so-sweet buddy with a cheerful disposition? How about Bao yi? My greatest Epismile buddy and the long hours we spent online? Talking? Would I meet a new set of face? Would my MSN contain another set of emails? I'd never forget the days we spent together, buddies, The crazy one, the sweet one, the great Epismile one. And of course, all the other friends who have not faded but remain constantly there when I need them- Averil, Mavis, etc. etc. And would I say fate brought us all together? In some ways, yes. Is it fate that bring us together? Is it fate that tears us apart? I have yet to know of the answers.

Went to Pasir Ris beach today. My dad's great idea at the last minute. Wasnt too bad really. I only remember that I stepped onto an ant nest and the ants were all over my leg. 1st thought was to dip my foot in the water to get rid of the ants, but I remembered in time that the water was polluted and that the government strongly advised us not to touch the water. I spent 5 mins beating the ants off, longer for those who chose to march up leg like napolean. Iam lazy to blog more.

I MISS MY AEP WORKSHOP SENIOR SAMANTHA!!!!!!!!!
AND I MISS DR LOH!! D:


Why does life have to be so sad, the very people you love cannot be with you when you want them to...

Hey! So many things to blog about today I really have no idea how to start. Okay. 1st things 1st.

Went to Hwa Chong Institution for this AEP workshop. We were spilt into 25 groups, with 1 IJ girl in each group. So you bet I was feeling rather out of place. Played this icebreaker thing and got to know this Hwa Chong JC1 girl by the name of Samantha. She's super nice. when the lecture got too boring we wtarting folding paper origami and the lecturer didnt even catch us! :D Sigh. I've got this weird thing about me, that is, if I go anywhere, I'll always miss someone from there, and I guess Iam going to miss Samantha. Sigh..We did this video thing, where we were to create this video, and add stuff called the 'pitch' and other stuff inside. Our group ALMOST won okay! but okay, maybe I wasnt THAT keen to win. The prize was a kinder surprise egg and some rochers.

Had to leave for my dentist appointment after that. As I did last month, I posted my conversation with Dr Loh. and so will I this month,

Dr Loh: Julyn!
Me: Hi!
Dr Loh: Hey, your friend came to the Novena medical centre right?
Me: Yup! Grace!
Dr Loh: Ohh I see, no wonder she was asking me about you!
Me :Haha.
Dr Loh: You, Bao yi and Grace are all schoolmates is it?
Me: Yup, school mates, class mates too!
Dr Loh: Her condition is a little difficult to treat though.
Me: Oh man. That's sad alright. Haha Iam so good right? you hurt me so much yet when Grace asked for a good orthodontist I recommended you.
Dr Loh: Ohh haha thank you thank you!
Dr Loh: You know Bao Yi has been coming here quite often because her crown dropped?
Me: Her CROWN?!
Dr LOh: Ya. Do you know why?
Me: haha I know but I promised her I cant tell anyone leh.
Dr Loh: Tell me la!
(Another Dr at that time, Dr Yong, loweres the chair)
Me:(lying down) I cant tell u or Bao Yi will kill me!
Dr loh( Sticks a sharp metal tool inside mouth): TELL ME!!!
Me: OWWWWW!
Dr Loh: YOu want to get killed by Bao Yi or by me?
Me: I dont want to get killed at all!
DR loh: Alright then I will make it very painful for you.
Me: I cannot betray Bao yi.
Dr Loh: Tell me la!( sticks the metal tool back into mouth)
ME: (hurting so much Iam starting to tear): She... she just banged something la!
Dr Loh: Banged what?
Me: I DUNNO!!!
Dr Loh: Using her teeth!!!!?!!!
Me: Urgh... ( too painful to reply)
Dr Loh(removes metal tool): Okay la, I wont really hurt you okay?
ME: ...
Dr Loh: You hate me now right? *preteneds to sniff*
Me: NO! I dont hate you!
Dr Loh: Then you love me! right?
Me: Ya ya ya.
Dr loh: Good!
Dr Loh: Julyn..you;re biting me..
Me: sorry!
Dr loh: your bottom row teeth havent moved! Iam going to have to use plastic.
Me:...
Dr loh:this is going to hurt a bit.(forces plastic onto metal bracket)
ME: OWWWW! (starts to perspire)
Me: *gasps in pain and starts to pant*
Dr Loh: Julyn, you're crying or laughing I also cannot tell..
Dr Loh: Iam doing this because I love you, just remember that
Me: okay okay.. you love me.
Dr loh: Good. You know, not say never do la, but I seldom do normal braces now.
Me: Oh?
Dr loh: ya. I do more fast braces now.
ME: DOesnt matter. Fast braces may hurt less, but I can endure the pain of normal braces la.
Dr Loh: Done!
Me(wipes eyes as Dr Yong takes the sunglasses from me and looks hard at me): Orh, ta liu lei le.(to Dr loh)
Dr Loh: REally! Sorry sorry!
Me: *thinks of HHF sorry sorry song by super junior* its okay.Thanks very much anyway:)
Dr loh: w8! Dont go yet! I show u the mirror*hands me mirror*
Dr LOh: See your front 2 teeth have plastic bits? Yes that is to push ur teeth forward faster.
Me: oh. Okay..
Dr loh: must remember its because I love you that's why I want to give u more pain so u can finish it faster okay!
Me: Okay okay:) Thanks very much and see u again soon!


Haha. Super funny la.Sigh. Now I have to do my facebook photos before shermaine kills me. 1st bao yi, then dr loh, then shermaine. I dont have 9 lives. I can only die once. You choose.

I CANT STAND IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO WHAT IF YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN VERY WELL DO THAT TOO YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!! JUST THAT I CHOOSE NOT TO!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like typing all the vulgar words I know HERE>.< But cos Iam decent enough to to pollute my blog, I shant. Into my journal it shall go then. Piss Me Off.

Hey! Got something to share today

Was waiting for the bus no. 70 at Yio Chu Kang Station today after school. In front of me there were these 2 boys, and for easy reference, I shall call them Fat boy and Thin Boy. Fat Boy was in front of me, while Thin boy was at the waiting area for bus no. 13, which was just in front of no.70. In front of that, there was a drain with a heavy iron grill. While waiting for the bus to come, the boys were shoving and pushing one another, evidently playing. Fat boy held his Ez-link card in his hand. Just then, bus no. 13 came, and thin boy boarded it. Just as he was at the door, he gave fat boy a hard shove and fat boy's ez link card fell into the drain through the grill. The bus no. 13 then moved away. Fat boy tried to stick his hand through the drain cover to get the card but no avail. He said," SHIT! " super loudly, then left. Shortly after, he returned with the cleaner, who shouted something in chinese/hokkien/teochew. By this time, there were a few people who were behind me in the queue: a guy from this school with a white top and long white pants, an old lady and 2 army guys. The fat boy tried to get the cover up again, hoping that the cleaner would help him, but instead, was shouted at for dropping his card. It was then that the guy in the white uniform tried to lift the drain cover but he couldnt also, ( that ruled out any chance of me helping them). Then the 2 army guys stepped forward, one tried to lift the cover by digging his fingers under the cover while the other grabbed the grill. It took them a really long while. When the cover was finally up, the fat boy, who was watching all this while, fished around for his card then quickly ran off, WITHOUT saying thank you! The cleaner shouted at the boy again to say thanks, to which the boy quickly said, " thanksssssssssss" then ran off like really fast for this weight. The army guys were like, "oh..nevermind..." Their hands were really dirty at that time. All dispersed after that.

HAha. See. That's the reason why I admire people, army guys for their strengh especially. One of them was really quite hot actually. Heh. No, maybe it was because it only reminded me of someone...

Quite tired of AEP really. Another workshop on monday. I wanted to say because I had a dentist appointment I couldnt go. But I had to write a parents letter, so of COURSE, my mum said to change the appointment and make it later. Sigh. AEP is stressful. I want my braces tightened. Going to put Pink and blue braces after this. Hope I dont look nuts.

Its been a year. And it was so fast. Its Taiwan for me now, fun, theme parks, mango ice blend, chou tou fu. bubble tea ( ;D )And Taiwa is Shermaine's dream country because her beloved BBT is there. What will fate bring me this time? Who will I meet? That, Iam really excited to know.

THE CONNECTION SPEED FOR THIS COMPUTER SUCKS!!! I"VE WAITED FOR NEARLY 3minutes for my facebook page to load and its still not loaded! ARGHHHHH

Exploded.

My desktop exploded. And now Iam stuck with a laptop which is really, absoulutely slow. Iam serious. The conection speed is like, whoa. I have to download MSN now. Sigh.

Exhausted. AEP= to hell right now. Really glad that our boxes are to be done by next week and its going to be our LAST LESSON!!! :D :D

Guess what? I've overcome my fear of the dentist. Okay, maybe not fully, but its better than last time, when my fear of the dentist was so great I had to go to the toilet everytime I heard the word dentist. And Iam going to the dentist VOLUNTARILY tomorrow with Shermaine! :D Only thing is, she better not break my archwires, cos if I do, I'll have to bear with my metal wire prodding the inside of my mouth for 1 week. And it aint nice. Shermaine's tooth is hurting her badly. So I told her to suck ice, which, happened to be just my remedy when I 1st put braces and had my mouth aching so badly I had a headache. It worked! :D

Screw Facebook and Blogger. Cant upload any pictures now so Iam going to do so when its finall up and going. Cya:)

So tired. So so so tired. AEP is taking a toll on me. Talk about mood swings, pls tell me how to control it someone. I've been described as a volcano liable to erupt anytime.

shermaine

It's the Bright One, it's the Right One, that's Ju Lyn.

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HAHA. Oh ya. We were in school today and it was roughly 10 mins to the end of recess. Shermaine was going all high over this guy she's NEVER met and totally fell in love with him because of his looks. His apparent cuteness. Well, yea, he IS cute, but then, I not attracted to skin deep beauty only. Looks like shermaine's another victim to 'love at first sight', as well as 'puppy love.' we were walking near the bookshop where there was this large puddle of water. Shermaine was so high she didnt see the water and nearly slipped and fell. okay iam laughing like mad now. She looked super cute okay. she was like, "you know ah that guy- (slip, omg! grabs michele's hand)- so cute you know!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!' That, my friends is just the typical shermaine.

It rained really hard here. By midday, my gloom deepened to match the weather. I got really pissed with my parents over the simplest of matters. Okay, my mum mentioned that I looked like an indonesian maid when I tied my hair real low instead of high up as I normally would. Frankly, I know she's just making a joke, but she sounded disgusted and I just that was just the straw that broke the camel's back. I totally blew up and told my mum that I was her daughter, not some indonesian maid. But now that I think about it, maybe I should have just laughed it off. But I cant. Iam not Atticus.

Then my dad mentioned this rather 'bad' habit of mine. See, since I was in primary school, I had always used the bottom of my staircase as a place where I wear my shoes. I would place the shoes at the extreme left corner so that no one would trip should they decide to come downstairs at night. But then my dad said it was dirtying the steps, which I found was untrue because 1: I clean my shoes, and 2: I Its only a small portion. He told me, I blew up again, and in less than 1 minute, I cooled down. My parents are wondering why I perform these crazy emotional gymnastics, and the truth is, I dont know myself either. I mean, I can be fine and dandy one min, and the next iam screaming at something annoying. I dont know. ARgh. Iam not like this in school though. School Iam fine. Its just at...home. No, my parents are great. They care for me and everything. So sometimes, i doubt its their fault.

I dont know what up with me.

Just read this somewhere.



If a woman crying in front of you, that means she is no longer can hold in her cry.
If you hold on to her hands while she is crying, she'll stay with you throughout your entire life.
If you let her go, she'll never come back the way she was at first. Forever….

A woman will not cry that easily, unless in front of the people that she loves greatly.Then, she becomes weak.
A woman will not cry that easily,and unless she really loves you, she will not be conservative.

I had to correct quite a lot of gramatical errors (and ,hopefully not changing the meaning in the process)

I don't know what overcome me okay. I knew it, I should have studied harder. Stupid Chem test. I know its only CA. I was so happy go lucky when my chem teacher asked me how I found the test. I was like," ...... erm.." At that point Dhiviyaa chose to ask my chem teacher," what was the answer for the last question? " And my teacher answered, " You must write about the efferversence and percipitation reaction with a metal. " I was thinking to myself, " What the hell! I didnt even write a crap about that. " Then I probably looked dejected or lost or worried or something, cos she(teacher) asked, "you alright?" I said, " yea.. " But totally was not.

Then after I reached home, I realised what kind of stupid mistake I created. Tried to do some E math hmk for a while then suddenly found myself unable to keep my eyes open. Flopped onto my bed for 40 winks, and guess what? I dreamt about my freaking CHEM TEST. I dreamt that my chem teacher called me up and told me that I had gotten a freaking 0 for my chem test. Here was the convo in my dream:

Teacher: Hello?
Me: hello?
Teacher: Julyn, why did you do so badly?
Me: That chem test?
Teacher: yes. YOu didnt do too well I have to say. 0 isnt a good mark is it?
Me: *speechless* thinks, I got 0?!
Teacher: is it?
Me: ...n..no..
Teacher: Iam disappointed in you. *hangs up*
Me: wait! *hears the click of the phone being hung up*

After that, I think I totally cried in my dream.In front of my Chem teacher. Then I realised that I was really crying, cos I got up and there were tears lingering in my eyes. I sat up and thought about my dream. Went to grab a towel in case I started crying for real. Sometimes, I really don't know about my emotions anymore. They're outta control, and Shibin would call me a cry baby. but I cant help it.


Then I had tuition today. I looked through my A math textbook and its like relearning everything again. I dont know what on earth the textbook is going on about. Its like greek to me. Then when my tuition teacher explained, I understood-for one min. the next, I forgot everything, and even he (my tuition teacher's super patient mind you) was getting agitated with me. We only had 2 hours to go through A math AND e math, and it was really a rush.

Then Emath, was revising radian, but it looked like I was relearing it again. Alright, I did remember some things, but they all looked so new. What's going on man. I planned to run out to my room and flood it with my tears. And that's exactly what I did (well, not actually FLOOD the floor) but I did end up crying, and crying super hard somemore. Think I actually screamed into my pillow. I used the same towel as above. After it was over, I felt ashamed. Not better, ashamed. Like, gosh. Iam crying over the inability to do math sums and a chemistry test. Then I came out of my room and got agitated with everyone, parents included. Then my maid told me that she couldnt find my school shorts. I was too tired to get pissed with her and just said, "yes yes.." although I was really fuming.
Stupid shorts. I wish to see them fly around my room in an invisibility cloak, that great hairy hog.

Help me. SOmeone help me. Cheer me up or something. Iam in need of that now. How can I have a better control over my emotions man..

Doctor Loh is going to kill me. Look what stupid thing I did.







I stuck a toothpick through the yellow portions. And then...




Forced it back on. But its super loose. Hope I dont swallow it.

I cant stand it. My mum's nagging me about the fact that I didnt study my chem test as hard as I should. And its actually worrying/upsetting that I cant seem to understand what my chem teacher is teaching us! Am I like the worst in chem or WORST?! Cos I really dont want to disappoint my chem teacher, I know she's already trying her best to teach us. And it was my Chem which pulled up my science in Mid year, my chem teacher praised me, and now here I am, FAILING! She's gonna think that I have a realy swollen head or something, or that I got too complacent. I was totally frekaing out during chem test today, even my teacher was govering around me. I cant, cant stand it no longer!! A math and E math test next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIE DIE DIE

I must say, that was totally random. And yes, what Iam going to talk about is a gi-rl thing.. so..
During EM, MC apparently decided to comment on KH's manner of sitting ( open coffee shop kind) and it somehow digressed and became something else...

YOu know what, I think I ought to be studying chem. I'll finish this post if I have time and in the mood for it.

I cant stand it, I just cant stand it. What happened? Why am I so careless?
I lost my BRAND NEW green pen, and I mean brand new. It wasn't even out of the popular plastic bag and I lost it. And my homework journal also. I mean, fine, the pen can be re-bought ( my wallet hurts here) but the journal, its got EVERYTHING inside, from my braces appointments to my friend's contact numbers to my drawings. Please please PLEASE God, PLEASE let me find them. I don't want to lose them. Iam sorry if I made this mistake once.

My temper these days keep rising.. Its annoying. Iam annoyed with someone and I dont know why. Of course not all the time. But well. Maybe its 'this age' and 'this time'.

2's company, 3's a crowd. Sometimes, its really hard not to feel that way.

Hi readers of my blog. Something really funny happened today, cept that I have no idea how to explain it in words as the impact wouldnt come out. Of course it aint as good as seeing it for real, but this is the best there is for now. Rather then waste my breath ( and energy needed to move the fingers), here's the graphical image I just drew. Dont laugh at my ridiculous drawing.

This was the 4 mats I was sitting on-together with Ping En, Miho, and Brenda. We were sitting on top. The mats were large, over a metre in height.

As I was climbing down, I FELL through the mats onto the floor. Blame my clumsiness. The coach, thinking that the mats were out of shape, PUSHED IT INTO SHAPE>.<>

Well oh well. Iam a bit flat now. But that cant be helped =/

How can you be so ungrateful?
How can you say, the sun doesnt shine?
Let me take you by the hand
And show something that'll make you change your mind.
Do you remember the good times we had
Before you changed and grappled with time?
Do you recall the smile you gave me
When I ask you if you'd come
You smiled so sweetly, ever so dear
Then turned, when I shed a tear.
Why do you want to treat me this way?
Does it bring joy to you,
And does it satify you?
I have nothing against you.
Yet, you have.

And yet again, the feeling of loneliness is unfathomable. That I need you in times of stress, in times of worry, in times of grief and sorrow. Tell me, who is there , as a shoulder to cry on and as a source of comfort? How easy it is to say," I'll stand by you" and how it is even easier to leave me behind. It wasnt long before I knew- you couldnt be trusted.

AEP today. Which promted me to blog about the depression AEP brings. I mean, Iam really surprised that no one has yet committed suicide due to AEP just yet. Well, maybe I'll be the 1st. Anyway. We began on the building of our boxes today with hammer and nails. It was great fun at 1st, then the novelty wore off soon enough. Then it became exhausting. Shermaine kindly agreed to hammer the nails and I'd hold up the boxes to check if the nail was driven in well enough. Sure, we had accidents. I smashed my thumb, like, 4 times trying to get the nail driven in properly. No not consecutively. But then, Iam sure all of us did hit our nails at some time. It was a wonder I didnt get any splinters. But then its luck I guess.

New Geog teacher. We were introduced to her once before, just that we totally forgot her name. So we made a guess:

New teacher and old one walk in:
Us: Good morning Miss yip and Ms... Norshida..?
Old and new teacher start laughing..
Us: ???
New teacher: Iam miss Norainee.
Us: OHH. OMg..
Old: hahahah..
Us: ....
LOL. Shows how gd we are at rmbring names.
I have SS test tomorrow. And well as A math hmk which needs to be handed in. But Iam blogging. Why?
I cant do the hmk. Pls show me how tmr shermaine.

God Please Bless My Eyes on What I Saw Last Thursday:
Was coming back from AEP. You know how where my house is, people have gotten raped before? NO, I didnt see a rape case! But I did see something else.
Was around, lets see, 8++ at night? I took the shortcut across the canal and began this long walk lit only by a few streetlamps. In the daytime, it was nothing, but at night, every sound is magnified, each breath of wind which blew was rapists seeking victims, each footstep I took wa another step towards danger..well u get the idea.
Before I actually started crossing, I spotted a figure near the canal. It was moving, so I guessed it couldnt be a pillar. The only other way was round the back of the road, which was a long way more. I treaded in front of the head of the drain, then took a gamble and entered the shortcut. I touched the railing. It squeaked.

The figure reavealed itself as a couple, a guy and a girl. I thought they were just standing there. They were not either. With their arms around each other, I was disgusted enough, as they were hugging and kissing fit to die. I was glad it was dark, but it wasnt dark enough to cover their actions. I thought they must be mad- they were having s** right there, next to the drain!
I promise, never in my life would I ever want to intrude on this moment, the shock on the guy's face, the embarrassment in the girl's. It sure gave me the goosebumps- it was then that I realised that what I had seen earlier was.. erhrm.. foreplay..
I don't want to see it again. Never ever. Amen.

Sigh. I see other people have so many photos, I really feel super depressed. Ya la I know. I aint all that photogenic. But its true. I know. I should be happy for those people and know that there are others who are less fortunate than I am. But I feel so damn low, so shoved aside, so left out. Why. I know this isnt as bad as 'last time'. My tagboard also so empty. People come here most of the time, is due my asking them to. When I see others' blog, its also really depressing. Yes blogs are for sharing happy times, sad times. And for sharing them with other people. Iam sharing, no ones responding. Its really sad. Yes.

" Sometimes, I feel like Boo Radley, people think of me as a shadow, and they make a freak show outta me, enacting a strange little drama of their own invention. "

You see the moon and the stars... look how far we have come...

That song's stuck in my head.. So is everything that is national day related. Really. What's up with the government who tries to instil in us the goodness of national identity. Okay. Its good. I applaud the government for that.

Boredom. Time. When you've got nothing to do but blog, the hands on the clock go by really slowly. i dont have anything to say and no one's talking to me. If there were I wouldnt be blogging. Heard that Crystal's getting braces. Good for her:) Recommended her to go to my orthodontist but she doesnt want. Told her very good already still don want:( Never mind la. People are entitled to full respect of their opinions.

Finished drawing pac man. Kite flying tomorrow. Gosh. I think I'll find something to do. Meanwhile.... Iam glad you read all these things.. Mundane? yep. and don't call me sluggish. I just have nothing to do right now, that's all. Bye people.

Urgh. I need to, have to, want to, finish AEP sketches! Its driving my nuts, up the wall. So you think that I only have AEP as a subject right? Yea yea. Wadever. Draw and draw. You think I got so much time is it.

Somemore want me go flea market buy things. You siao ah. Where on earth am i going to find a miniature arm chair? Whose's butts are so small to fit in that armchair? What? I make ah? Okay lor, you want me to make , i make for you. But then dont say not nice ah. Is you ask me make one.
You tell me hurry go flea market. Where to find flea market i ask you? In singapore very little flea market leh. Sure. Got tekka mall. but then there got sell what i ask you.
I see other people draw, nice sia. what? I cannot reach that standard la. Too much already.
Ya lor. I also know, I ought not to be blogging. You say I waste time. Fine la. SO everyone will see how mundane me life is. Your fault ah.

Reflection..

National Day Celebrations today. Michele and Shermaine pangseh-ed (i spelt it right this time! :D) me to go out with Zenia and some of their other guides. :( Bao Yi is super touched that Dr Loh remembers her and tells Dr Loh that " I miss her" Hahahaha.. Strange how strangers appear to become our friends while on a job.. Bao Yi, dont cry okay:') You'll never know what Dr Loh will do.. ^^ I'll try to be with you in December if our timings meet:) Iam sure she'll be touched also.

Actually, I dont think that what Bao Yi is doing is unreasonable, if at all. Let me try and "climb into her skin and walk around in it."
I've stuck with the same orthodontist for 2 years.. (or was it 1? ) and, okay,so Dr Loh is friendly.I guess it normal to feel upset. Especially when you know that that will be the last time you'll see them again. Its a personal relationship, one that cannot be achieved through a one-time basis. I guess all people will meet some people that have an impact on your life, somehow, and I guess this one is mine- and Bao Yi's. Maybe we'll have more in the future. But then, its sad. And maybe I'll cry too..when the time comes, be it 1 year, 2 years or 3, I can tell Bao Yi not to cry, but maybe it isnt so easy to stop crying,after all. I'll be probably touched as well,if not even cry. And when I do, I'll finally know that I cant help it. After all, you've met someone that has left and lasting impression on you-besides straight teeth.

Oh yay. Blogger's working again. I know I have a lot of things to say. Just that..I cant remember what. Anyway. I'll post the only thing I can remember okay..
Tightened my braces yesterday. It hurt more than the actual insertion itself. Here's how it went..

Dentist(D): Hi!
Me: ..... hi:)
D: why you look so lost?
Me: me?? no what..
D: sit down..
*sits*
D: What colour(for the rubber bands) do you want?*holds out ring of colours*
Me: ..ermm..I ..I..
D: Take red and white! for national day!
Me: ...... you said the same thing to my friend too..
D: your friend?
Me: Yup. She came here too.
D: Oh, who?
Me: Bao Yi.
D: OHHH Bao yi!!... But..she took out already what!!
Me: Ya lor I know.. So lucky right.
D : You just started! Still want to compete with her!
Me: Iam not competing!
D : How was the braces? Painful?
Me: er..
D: Bearable or not?
Me: Bearable.
D: Wah strong.
Me: its not that pain what... =/
D: *hands me sunglasses* Its to protect your eyes from falling objects
Me: .okay..
D: yea. like instruments, metal bits, or even me.
Me: ????!!!!
D: Joking only la. Think you'll get a fright if I fall onto you.
Me: hahaha?
D: *removes archwire*
Me: Owwwwwww....
D: Bao yi never told you about the pain right? She told you that Iam such a good orthodontist right??
Me: ....*nods head*
D: Now that iam hurting you you'll hate me right?
Me ( finding it hard to talk): I donk hate eyou...
D: I know, you love me right??
Me: * too painful to reply*
D: Any major exams coming up?
Me: ... (still too painful)
D: silence?
Me: ...
D: silence means comsent yes?
Me : *nods head*
D: * forces rubber band onto metal bracket*
Me: OWWWWWWWWW!
D: Pain??
Me: *starts to close mouth*
D: Julyn...you're biting me.
Me: ...
D: I give you pain you give me pain back. so sad..
Me: *suddenly closes mouth*
D: OWWWWW! Aiyo julyn ah!
Me: Sowwwyy!
D: Never bite your orthodontist!
Me: ...
D:stil pain?
Me: ya..
D: Not crying yet are you?
Me: no...( Thinks of bao yi having to undergo this for a year and thinks of my own fate)
D: Done!
Me: *takes off sunglasses*
D: wah you're perspiring!
Me:.. ya...
D: Dont cry okay.
Me: I wont..not unless there's extraction or sth..
D: OH.. I know your weak point..
Me : ...
D:see you in 4 weeks time!

Gosh. I know its super long. But damn funny.. haha. Bao Yi must read this:)

I AM SUPER PISSED WITH MYSELF FORNOT BEING ABLE TO CONTROL MY FREAKING IMPULSIVITY

So Pet society now has fishing. SERiously. I think pet society is addictive. But then... Since it is, iam sucked in. I have an SS test tomorrow and Michele isnt coming so sher and I will have to go for break by ourselves D; Get well soon michy:)

Would I say that'll be the freakiest thing I've ever done. I felt as if I was renacting a scene from the Travelling Palette. Sher, Elizabeth, Ping En and I were all following one teacher. I kept saying, "will you ever believe this is happening?" and Shermaine was like, " no..." (as usual)

FOund out later we were to be tourguides for the art exhibition near the old supreme courts. The art exhibition consisted of art works from AEP schools all over, be it JC, secondary schools,etc. And to think we were to introduce artworks not created by us.

TO cut a long story short, it was boring. BORING, but freaky at first before the novelty of introducing people to the same artwork and sounding like some recorder wore off. WAnted to camp whore but had little time to do so=/ So no photos yea. Sad sad..

This is embarassing.

Screw Pet society... Everything I see now is like ,magnified by a hundred. Facebook photos are now so big, I still wonder who on earth Iam staring at when I click on a photo. =/ Even blogger. Omg. I cant type anything and my font size is easily a size 20. 20!! Click click, the words are huge.Leary.. HEavy.. omg...

Speaking blogger, I just remembered I had something really embarassing to blog about. Shhhh. Iam trying to be brave and blog about it all the same okay. So dont laugh. Please dont.
Here it is..
HAd my PFT on friday during PE. I have no idea what happened, but like, all of a sudden, I've lost my ability to do inclined pull ups anymore :( When I think about it, sec 1 I hit, 20. SO when the PE teacher called me up, I didnt quite have second thoughts about this metal bar strung above my head.

When I was lying under the bar waiting for him( PE teacher) to start the timing, I got cold feet. Yes I know it isnt a good time. But i did, and when I think about it now, I still do. I heard," Chin up, butts up, GO! " Then the timing started. I did 1, it was painful. I did 2, it was agonising. I did 3, it was excruciating. I gasped and did the 4th one. I couldnt believe it. 20! and now? 4. Panicking, I tried, TRIED to lift myself up agian but COULDNT. I heard him say, "cannot then cannot, don't waste my time trying." That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I defeated. I dropped. Then I jumped up and saw the fate I finally was in- my gold for PFT had flown out of the window. It didnt take very long for tears to cloud my eyes. And in a short 5 seconds after I'd gotten up, I broke into full blown crying. OMG. Embarassing. All I remember was My teacher looking at me, ( though I couldnt really see) and Francesca, bless her, trying to hug me. I normally wouldnt take to that. But somehow I let her. And thanks Fran. Very much so ;) Then My PE teacher said smth that make my regret the tears immediately, " Typically girls school......." .. -.-

I dont know why I started crying. SOme said that I set my goals too high. But I've got a reputation to keep you know. And falling down like that, deafeated, isnt my idea of keeping my rep as an ' Army girl' . I dont like that nick. But it beats others that they gave me. And I lost my very last shred of dignity by CRYING. CRYING. I cant believe it. I still cant. Its a mixture of factors really, I think I was just too disappointed with myself, (maybe i DID set my expectations too high) and the fact that my friends could do more, and I had to be so weak. To cut a long story short, everyone treated my like I was some delicatewind mobile, and my teacher let me have extra chances. No I hate sucking up to teachers. Trust me. I didnt ask for it. And yes, I still managed to hit 11 inclined so all well that ends well I guess ;)

AEP tomorrow. I. Am. Not. Enjoying. It. At. All. I cant do all my A math. HOW?! SOmeone help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Confessions of a 9 year old:
Why is it like that , Mommy, I dont understand?
The way life is so short?
The way you bought me my 1st baton
when I wanted to twirl with the high school band?
Why are you so pale, mommy?
The way ur eyes don't shine?
The way you used to tell me,
is that all lost, with time?
Mommy can you explain to me
The workings of our lives?
Like how on earth does it start
And end with a certain rhyme?
Mommy will you tell me, why friends are the way they are?
Why they sometimes leeave behind the very ones we treasure?
I want to know the answer Mommy, please before its late.
I want to know everyhint Mommy, will you not tell me its too late?
YOu say that friends are everything, but
let me lead you by the hand
and take you through the streets
I will show you something
To make you change your mind.
Mommy why are you so pale?
Why are you not answering?
Where have you gone,Mommy ? Please tell me?
Mommy?! MOMMYYY!!!

Iam too lazy to post on the CIP I went for on Sunday. I supposed pictures will have to do.

This was the tower at Borders. I've never been there. Believe it or not. the archietectural design is unique.

This wasnt from yesterday's CIP outing. Just that I felt like posting it. Taken outside my orthodontist's office. The jellies look good.. :)

Oops. Mistake. Wasnt supposed to post this. I think I was drawing the graph for physics. =/

say CHEESE :D

BLESSED BIRTHDAY B CUP BAO YI!! :D My only other Epismile buddy and hardworking soul... hahah;D ENJOY UR DAY today :D PFT we must jiayou together.. our bithday past already.. so sad right? Cannot enjoy the privilege of being 14..hahaha:D Love you:D

Look what I had to do to the Gardenia Bun=/ HAD to cut it up cos I STILL ( OMG!! ) cannot bite! ARGH!

Call me a worrier, but I really am. See. I fainted in school AGAIN for like, the 2nd time this year! And though the 1st time was THAT bad, this time was. I have no idea too, so dont ask me why I did. Iam just afraid that this might be a symptom to more serious problems. Okay so my A math teacher was trying to get me up because I wasnt responding to any of her questions. I only remember her asking me, " Julyn answer me?! " And I couldnt because I only hear sounds but cannot speak. Then the next minute I can see her talking to me and I couldnt reply. I had no idea that I was grabbing shermaine's hand so hard. Iam sorry if the nail marks are still there. But you know.. I dunno la.. Iam just hoping that this isnt going to get worse. My dad still made me run after that. You know the symptoms as well as i did. The cold sweat. The black out. And the last place I hope for smth like this to happen is in the DENTIST office. OMG. I'll die if it happens there. smth I have no control over. sigh. Iam sorry If I gave you guys a fright in the classroom today okay. I honestly had no idea... oh have I said that before?

I've learnt a new word. Its called Dentophobia. There's actually such a thing and its an extreme fear of dentists. I used to be extremely frightened-and still am. So you know how much it frightens me to have to visit the dentist every month from now on, or as my orthodontist says its, " married to her for 2 years" . It helps that she isnt so scary. Maybe I'll change my perception of dentists from now. Still rmb in sec 1 when I evaded the dentist the whole year. Haiz. Back then when I was only 140 cm and had the top of the whiteboard unexplored. I wont say that my sch dentist is the best however. She's rough. But then again, what can you get form something that's free?

Iam sorry to keep complaining but it hurts. It really does. Where i once could eat my food with ease and even beat shermaine and michele, I cant now. I eat even slower than mich. And Iam actually horrified. Haha well mich for these 2 years you're going to beat me. But I will try to buck up my eating pace okay. I will really try. I keep on researching for articles that wil try to lessen the pain when I eat but all I get is, " chew sugarless gum" And I dont HAVE sugarless gum. My next appointment is like, next month. If I have to live with it for so long I'll cry.

I may hate pain. I may hate the tightness.
But let me tell you this- I do not like the feeling of braces. It is tight. It is heavy. And It makes you look like a duck. NO NO NO. My orthodontist is great! Dont get wrong ideas. Its just the feeling of tightness I cant stand. And never will. Now Iam praying that my teeth don't stick out again or I will really,m honestly have to pluck out.. =/

Its pathetic I tell you. Its a dying thing. We're the very last to remain in here. I have no idea why. And as for myself, I made a really dumb choice in Sec 1, choosing something that was going to impact my life so greatly. Yea sure, sure. You all have great fun. The photos, I remember them. The loneliness that I felt when I was left behind. Yet you brush them off, like dust. And when I quit, you asked me why. I looked at you when you asked me that. Surely, SURELY, shouldnt you be asking yourself for that answer? Look back. Look around. I dont think poorly of you. But I do think poorly of your attitude towards others. I was also selected you know. I delayed it, and paid the consequences-dearly. Then I left. What did you do? I don't know. But sometimes I'd rather not know.
You want to know the reason why? I'll tell you. I hated the way I was treated, I hated the way I was left out. And you know what? You never even saw me after I've changed. You thought I'd remain the way I was. And Iam not. You cant see beyond your boundaries, can you? If you did, you'd see. And I'd be sure, you wont think the same way anymore. There was someone in there however, whom I'd greatly like to thank. Strong willed enough to go against the flow- that's why she's a leader, and you're not.
Anyway. I've said enough. Its up to you to think about it. Iam not going ahead with what Iam saying because its useless. You cant see, you dont want to see. And for that matter, I dont want to say, I cant say. And that, my friends, is what I call stereotype.

Iam really tired. AEP is starting to take a bad turn. What with two completely new, and freaky teachers, I have no idea how to express my ideas to them-at all. I want my old teacher back. In any case, I cant relateto them as I did before. She's got THAT strong an accent it takes me 5 secs to make any sense of what she's saying. Its no longer fooling around- its serious. And its a no-turn-back route for all of us stuck in this same ditch.
Iam finally getting braces on Monday. Cant wait. Hopefully it isnt as bad as the blue rubber bands in my mouth. If they're worse I'll totally faint. And I will have to wait it out for another 2 years max. Know that Iam always adverse of visiting the dentist and know how much this pains me. Urgh. Anyway. Before I start talking rubbish again, I'd better say goodnight. Sweet dreams everyone.
PS. I think OCS is more strict and busier than army. Not from my own experience though.

HAHa read this this is what happens when there's miscommunication and the inability to type chinese words =/Take note of the bang.


X - JuuuuLyn♥ - X 　　　　　　　 says:
*just research la
*on the 4 climated
*i scared i cannot print =/
*my dad printer ink ran out damn damn

♥` shermaine says:
*hahahaa

　X - JuuuuLyn♥ - X 　　　　　　　 says:
*ke yi bang wo ma
*.-.
*i promise i'll keep this to minimal
*fbfb

♥` shermaine says:
*BANG!!!!
*ohh
*i read ke yi bang wo ma
*haha okkkk :D
　　　　　
　X - JuuuuLyn♥ - X 　　　　　　　 says:
*AHAHAHAHA
*u damn funny
*bang become BANG!
♥` shermaine says:
*yahh
*ahahahhaah
　　　　　
　X - JuuuuLyn♥ - X 　　　　　　　 says:
*i am going to copy and past to my blog
*hahahahha
*h1h2h3h4h5

Went to the dentist at Epismile yesterday to get my braces done. The dentist there is so freaking nice okay. No offence, its much better than the one I have in school. She's damn rough. Since young I've always thought of dentists as tyrants. And I've held that view as far back as my memory goes. Maybe no longer though. My appointment was 3.15. Just as I was walking to the dentist clinic, I suddenly got cold feet. Dont ask me why. I have no idea. And in the spirit of cold feet-ness, I messaged shermaine, saying, " omg shermaine Iam damn sacred now." And in my fright I misspelled the word 'scared' for 'sacred' . As it turned out, the X ray showed I needed no extraction! Would you believe that! After weeks of brainwashing me with the pain of extraction, I don't have to undergo the pain at all! Bless the Lord:D Well at least, I may have a chance of pulling it off, but I guess if my teeth goes out of hand I'll still have to pull but am proceeding without braces for now:) She inserted some bright blue rubber bands in my mouth. And well, at least they felt like rubber bands when I was there. They dont even feel like rubber bands anymore. They've hardened to resemble that of plastic. No joke. Plastic in my mouth. Urgh. I cant bite or chew or eat anything properly now. Food that I used to love, ( ie. Cheese hotdog) has now lost its flavour. :( I cant tast very much with my front teeth, can i? And I cant find another space in my mouth which I can bite on without so much as a gasp. Alright. That's the bad news. And its hampering my speech too. I sound like I have a perpetual bubblegum in my mouth. shermaine was trying to imitate me today which was so not funny. It was so exaggerated. =/ Anyway. I hope it'll pass soon-ish. I do want to eat properly again. Eating is such a chore now...

Thanks for all the birthday messages on fb, sms and on my tagboard! Love you! :D

Tomorrow's my b day! Went out celebrating with Sher and Mich yesterday. AFter school, we went to the shop just behind the school and tried to find pasta and sauce. Well of course we didnt. The shop didnt stock any.
SO we went up to shermaine's house to put down our things as we were all carrying rather bulky items. I prepared before hand and brought clothes :) We changed into them ( shermaine wearing some little miss giggles shirt, michele had one with a cute cartoon and I wore one I got from giordano. )
Adjourned to NTUC after that. Along the way, we met some friends. And we were awkward. So I ran for it. So did Sher and Mich. Mich and Sher both ( bless them:) ) gave me a cardigan , slippers(which were incidently a size too big) and a pair of black shorts( which I think is too short but I love it all the same). I was wearing the shorts and slippers and they were making a rather loud sound with it slapping against the pavement but that's another story.
At NTUC, we bought hotdogs, pasta, sauce. Then Michele convinced us to buy ice cream, which we finished the ENTIRE THING in like, 4 hours! I feel so pig-like. =/
Then we WIIed. Played Rayman Raving Rapids on WII. I learnt that I totally suck at WII and my only reward is the muscle ache which is impinging on my abilty to type right now. WIIed till about 6.53, then I had to leave.
Iam tired but happy. I've never got such a thing in sec 1 and 2. Thanks Sher and Mich for making it one of the most memorable birthdays:D Love you:) and I'll make sure you have an equally good birthday in Sept and Oct respectively! :D

So its July. 3 more days to my b day:D And since its july, we had to run 10 rounds for the practise PFT. Then took height and weight. I still cant believe it! I've grown! :D By.. Idk. But Iam 159 now:D Must hit 160 before next year if not cannot grow anymore!